Little Shop of Honours

Jarvis Cocker = what a legend: Same glasses, same accent, same outlook on life, nothing but respect for the un-complicated former Pulp front man. If only there were more musicians like him. I was watching an interview with him the other day. He was talking about the demise of independent record shops and the rise of the download and commercialisation of the music industry in general. As ever, with Jarvis’ unique way of putting things, he had a few good points. My memory of independent record shops come from my youth when I used to bunk off school, go to town and hang around Probe or the Vynal Frontier. I used to love them old shops as you could find all kinds of stuff you wouldn’t find in the likes of HMV or Virgin (including the smell of joss sticks and stale Rush). The disappearance of these shops has, in my opinion, taken away the personal experience we used to have when buying our music as opposed to the much more corporate feeling we have now. Everything is too ‘hands on’ and extremely sensationalised these days to the extreme that pop stars are doing signed appearances in the ‘Mega Stores’ all the time just to make sure they can bank on your money. I see it as nothing more than shameless capitalism. Even supermarkets sell music these days, but have you noticed the way they advertise music more than actual music stores? They even have them bizarre prices of £9.97 or £8.56 per CD. I’d love to know where they get them prices from and how much salary the person who came up with that idea actually receives. £118.567 per annum? £9.97 per hour? Anyone? Compare the corporate, shiny, clean, massive stores of today to the likes of Probe & others and there is an absolute world of difference. I used to remember fondly walking into Probe looking for something and being directed straight to it by some 6ft hippy that looked like Neil from The Young Ones who had a bad ‘Billy Ocean’ problem wearing a Sisters of Mercy t-shirt. After that he’d sit down at his stool behind the desk he ‘worked at’, carried on reading the Socialist Worker whilst listening to Gram Parsons, smoking a roley and basically left you alone to get on with your shopping. Superb, hassle free music shopping that always guaranteed your custom again and again. The only conversation you have in mega stores these days with people behind the counter is when they ask you if you have a store card or wish to purchase any of the shit books or CD’s they can’t sell! There are still a few that exist today (by the skin of their teeth) in Liverpool, Hairy Records being my all time favourite. During my time in the band I used to do a bit of fly-postering around town and I always used to target record shops. The fella in Hairy Records always used to take a vested interest in the gig we had coming up and he always seemed genuinely interested in how your band was doing. It was a nice personal touch that was usually shunned by the ‘bigger’ stores who were more likely to tell you to fuck off or faced being thrown out (head first) by their steroid-ridden beefcake security guard. A world of difference wouldn’t you agree? Another thing Jarvis went onto comment on was recommendations you get imposed upon you when buying music on-line. Now, I know everyone always mentions new albums to your mates and all that, but I actually find it rather creepy the way some of these website you buy your music from tell you what they recommend and what other people bought who you may be ‘interested in buying’. I-Tunes do something similar as well. I find it pretty patronising to just pigeon hole people in this way. You don’t need to be ushered to a certain type of music just because someone else bought it! You’re not at a fucking wedding are you? It’s all too creepy and treating people like sheep and it had to be said gets on my nerves!! You expect treatment like that from the Two Kenneth’s from The Fast Show. You can picture the scene: “Ooh, Led Zeppelin, Sir, Ooh, ooh, suits you Sir” (2nd Kenneth appears from behind the ‘Rock Section’) “Your wife, Sir, does she like a good shuffle, Sir? Does she like to ‘mix it up’, Sir, does she like it AC/DC Sir, ooh suits you sir, suits you” Imagine going to get your weekly shopping and some salesman type person comes up behind you and starts offering you a certain type of butter because you look like the last person who bought it? You’d be pretty fucking dumbfounded and damn right angry wouldn’t you? The final step would obviously being targeted in a sex shop. God knows what they’d offer me? Black twenty inch double ender? Fuck knows! Now, I know this is a Music Blog, but I can’t help but speak out against this here as I have to get it off my chest. Music is your personal taste. It’s not about what Bob Bloggs and his wife who live in the next street bought. It’s about what you want and what you like! Wouldn’t it be interesting if you were given a private audience with say: Richard Branson and told him what to buy when thinking about buying a new sports car or a new yacht? “Er, try this brand new £100.000 Ferrari Enzo, Sir Richard, I think you’d look great in it”. Somehow I don’t think he’d appreciate your advice too much even though he’s making an absolute killing out of some ‘slick’ marketing ploy aimed at people like me & you designed to recommend something we might like So I’d like to end this fittingly with a few words from good old Jarvis and one of Pulp’s classic songs ‘Common People’: “I met her in a supermarket …” Now, just imagine here, I wonder if Jarvis ever thought about following that line with “she ‘recommended’ that I had to start it somewhere … so we started it … In Virgin’s Mega Store“ Somehow, I seriously doubt it (it doesn’t rhyme for a start) So, remember this, pop pickers: obey your ears, not some corporate slag bag who wants to bleed your wallet dry for the sake of his multi trillion pound corporation. Get out there to an independent record shop and buy something that tweaks your ears … steer clear of the 6ft Smelly Hippy though. Mol