The Axe of The X And the Fall of The West

Isn’t it amazing how the shit always sinks to the bottom? Strange world isn’t it?

This week we’ve seen the return of The Stone Roses, the hilarious demise of Take Splatt courtesy of Robbie Williams doing yet another runner from his bum chums and Noel Gallagher at the top of the album pile.

All of the above I can take or leave to be honest as Take Splatt are nothing short of an over-camp cabaret act hell bent on creating an entire arena full of damp crotches (male and female underwear applies by the way), Noel Gallagher has always been good for a quick, witty quote, but in my opinion has always had something ‘of the night’ about him (maybe he is a grumpy arld git after all) and The Stones Roses I could take or leave so I wasn’t really jumping through hoops about there inevitable (cash inspired) reunion.

By the way, if you’ve just bought a ticket for six million pounds to see them play when they eventually embark on their rather ambitious World Tour, have a look on YouTube at some of their liver performances. The words terrible, out of key and out of time spring to mind! But, maybe it is a victory for Indie Music so the best of luck to the Mancs on that one!

But, (and it’s a real massive BUT) most pleasing to myself had to be the rather splendid news about the death of Westlife (sadly not violent) and, most funny of all, X Factor slipping into obscurity and (hopefully) off country’s psyche for good!

First off, I’d like to mention the picture at the top of this blog. YES! It is a poster I put up over my desk in word! An NO! It hasn’t worked!

But, the most significant result about Westlife and X Factor decaying into the bowels of history is that people are maybe becoming pretty sick of people singing cover versions which, basically, is what the two of these entities have lived off for the last decade and a bit!

Another (far fetched) theory I have with regards people turning off from X Factor to turn over to watch a bag of shit period drama such as Downton Abbey is that there has been a lot of tension simmering in this country since our beloved gang of merry millionaires ceased control of the country last year. You only have to look at last years ……..

But, I’m afraid it’s not all good news! A few months back when X Factor started up with the ferocious Gary Barlow, the ever increasing camp Louis Walsh and two other birds I’ve never heard of in my like, I commented to Mrs Mol that if (even when) their ratings goes down, Cowell will be immediately on the blower to Ms Cheryl (“ah luv ye”) Cole-Tweedy to boost the ratings! And, there is even the chance the Prince of Darkness Cowell will make an appearance himself! In a sense, I think it’s very clever if that is what he resorts to as one thing it’ll guarantee is that it’ll boost his TV ratings

Then again, you really can’t polish a turd can ye?

Mol

Balmy Bono And His Shady Lyrics

As well as music being extremely enjoyable, I’ve always took a keen interest in what people are actually singing about. Whether they are about love, hate, war or good old seedy shag, I’ve always enjoyed lyrics

So, having rather bizarrely got back into U2 in a sort of biggish way lately as I used to be quite into them when I was in school, (and yes, I did have a Bono-style mullet minus the sideys) I have, as you can guess, been questioning the forever young Bono and his rather outrageous lyrics and asked myself one question:

Have U2 made a career out of nonsense?

Now I know all bands that have spanned a good few decades during their careers do go on to develop and ‘experiment’ with their music (unless you are AC/DC of course). It’s their right of course, but in the case of U2 it seems they are either running out of ideas or having a mid-life crisis (no doubt Bono is browsing through a Porsche catalogue as we speak)

Now, as most avid readers of Mol’s Sound Words know, Bono isn’t really my favourite person in the world. This is mainly down to the fact that he still insists on wearing leather kex and his sunglasses in doors even though he is shaking hands with the Pope or other worldly dignitaries (I’ve often wondered if he wears them while he’s having a Michael Knight, but the less said about that the better). But, in the early eighties U2 were without doubt a fine band with their main topic of lyrics obviously about the troubles that surrounded Ireland/Northern Ireland. Very interesting stuff I’m sure we all agree

“And so we're told this is the golden age and gold is the reason for the wars we wage” – New Years Day

“And the battle's just begun, There's many lost, but tell me who has won, the trench is dug within our heart, and mothers, children, brothers, sisters Torn apart” - Sunday Bloody Sunday

Now, if you compare some of the above older lyrics to these examples you can see what I mean when I say the art of writing good lyrics have sadly (in U2’s case) gone by the wayside!!

“The future needs a big kiss, wind blows with a twist” - Get on your Boots

“Scorch the earth, set fire to the sky, and you reach so low, to reach so high – Red Hill Mining Town”

“Car alarm won't let ya back to sleep, You're kept awake dreaming someone else's dream Coffee is cold, but it'll get you through Compromise, that's nothing new to you” - Electrical storm

So, as I said before, have they ran out of ideas is or are they, quite frankly, not arsed any more? I personally think they have become ‘too big’ and instead of taking their time in writing deep and meaningful lyrics like they did in the early days, they have resorted to what can only be described as something you’d expect from a fat and bloated Elvis in his latter Las Vegas days with pathetic offerings such as Sexy Boots and other assorted crap from their last offering! (and yes, I do have thoughts of Bono dying on the bog while he’s strangling a massive fucking brown one!!)

But it’s not all bad!

Which bring me to what I would regard as U2’s finest album – The Joshua Tree. Now don’t get me wrong here, it is, as I have said, a damn fine album.

Musically it really can’t be faulted! Not just because of the more famous hits like Where the Streets Have No Name, With or Without You and I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For, but more of the songs on the B Side like Red Hill Mining Town, One Tree Hill and Tripped Through Your Wires. They are fantastic songs.

BUT! As the topic of this blog states, the lyrics on The Joshua Tree are utter and total nonsense!! Maybe Bono had spent too much time in The Joshua Tree searching for the soul of Gram Parsons or Jim Morrison while drinking the juice from a few moody cactus trees! Who knows!

What I do know is this: some people you’d expect to write utterly shit lyrics, their usually the pathetic factory-processed pop stars who finish 18^th on X Factor, not the likes of seasoned pro’s like U2

They are capable of much better

So, Bono, see me after school!

And take them stupid FUCKING shades off!!

Mol

There Ain't No Sex Without the Sax!

Having recently been on my honeymoon (or holiday as I liked to call it) I have had to, sometimes during rare spells indoors nursing a hangover (and a semi), had to endure the rather unpleasant foreign music channels that play songs by the likes of Katie Perry, that annoying beaut from The Black eyed Peas (Will-I-Am-A-Knob-head) and Lady Gag Gag

But, one thing I noticed when a certain song by Sade appeared is that there seems to be no place these days in modern pop or rock music for the humble Saxophone!

This is an outrage!!!!

Now, as I have mentioned, my ‘holiday’ was of course supposed to be about romance and stuff like that (that doesn’t of course my eyes being pre-occupied by certain Swedish Ladies scantily dressed in bikinis that resemble a handkerchief), but I couldn’t help thinking about the instrument of love (and I’m not talking about my Carrots and Onions)

So, in honour of the SEX-aphone, here are a few beauties for you to listen to (with your bird/fella, of course) to maybe re-ignite your deep rooted (ahem) affection with the wonderful brass section carthorse to help you along during a hot session of sexy time with your nearest and dearest

Miss You – the Stones

Money – Pink Floyd

Never tear us apart - INXS

Avalon – Roxy Music

Modern Love – David Bowie

We don’t need another hero – Tina Turn-Off

So, there you have it. All hail the marvellous Saxophone! The most alluring, under-rated, sexy and sometimes downright outrageous instrument to ever grace music!

Better than playing the double bass any day of the week

Mol