All The Young Moods

As well as Rafa Benitez’s current position as manager of Liverpool FC, rumours are rife on the internet about the current antics of actor Joachim Phoenix. In case you don’t know about his recent behaviour he recently appeared on the David Letterman show in America sporting a rather shaggy beard and sunglasses whilst acting very strange indeed. In his ‘interview’ with Letterman, Phoenix stated he has recently started a career as a hip hop singer. Apparently Phoenix is that serious about this new line of ‘work’ that he has even done a number of ‘gigs’ in dingy clubs up and down Los Angeles. The reactions he received from his audience ranged from shit to damn right shit. But, some people across the internet celebrity gossip sites have suggested he is not entirely sincere or indeed serious about his new musical career, which got me thinking … how many musicians don’t take them selves seriously or moody? And who do? The answer is quite a lot DO! During my time as a musician my band mates and I had many conversations (that’s another word for argument or disagreement by the way) about how the band show go forward, musical direction, image (my shirts were often brought up), etc, etc. Although I did take a certain degree of seriousness about what we played and wrote, I never really paid much attention to taking myself serious. I still don’t. At the time I knew a lot of musicians who, you could say, had their heads firmly inserted so far up their own backsides they thought they actually were in some sort of super-dooper rock band, proper Spinal Tap aficionados I used to think. This one particular Tit Head we played with once wouldn’t even move his drum kit during one gig. You couldn’t even LOOK at it! I literally had the space of a postage stamp to stand, play guitar and sing on. The sad fact about this particular whopper and his gang of merry BO-ridden men was this = they weren’t massive rock stars. They were a bunch of un-signed Scouse Rockers destined to play to their parents and close friends until they reached a ripe old age when they just don’t look cool anymore. I didn’t get all that ego bullshit as it never appealed to me. Mart, Stu & Ben, can you guess who I’m on about? However, after the afore mentioned Phoenix interview and his belief that he may one day make it as a hip hop singer I really can’t help but think it’s a bit of a wind up, but, unlike Phoenix, most of the bands we played with over the years believed they could make it even though time was well and truly not on their side. Now, please don’t get me wrong here, I’m not having a go at bands. A mate of mine once told me that bands of today are for tomorrow. I truly believe that to be true, but why all the seriousness surrounding these once happy-go-lucky young chaps before they became embroiled in the venom encrusted world of music? Why all the bullshit? Why the shades wearing? Why the posing? Why the sulking? Why the snobbery? Why the same Lego-style haircuts? Why the extremely tight fitting Levi’s and Winkle Pickers? (And there was me thinking cloning was illegal) Another thing that really used to make my head tilt in an eastwardly direction was the attraction young ladies had towards some musicians. Don’t get me wrong I hardly had them queuing outside my bedroom door 24/7. In my opinion most musicians I know were either too moody to approach, scruffy bastards or just plain miserable sods, but you used to see them going out with some proper stunners! Why was that? Did they have cocks like a baby’s arm clutching a boiled heart? Or were they a complete shadow of there ‘rock star image’ once they got home? (Polar Neck Sweaters, Farrah Slacks, etc, etc) I personally think they paid most of them birds off to make them look good and turn a few heads in trendy ‘Scenester’ places like Korova or Le Bateau. It’s easily done by the way, my bird costs £30 a weekend (you’ve all probably got my number if you need her ‘services’ by the way) As regards to the Liverpool Music Scene, I do have fond memories of one particular band of whoppers. Now, I’m no shithouse, but I’ve made the decision to not name them as that’s up to you lot to find out. The one thing that really stood out about the band in question was their quite shocking fashion sense (I know: pot & kettle). At least three of them used to wear those ridiculous Afghan scarves when they played live, complete with the ubiquitous Converse trainees, leather jacket, t-shirt and jeans so tight you could tell if they were Jewish or not. I could really never get my head round bands who wore scarves on stage, I mean, stages are hardly the coldest of places now are they? One night, whilst managing The Decons we had a gig arranged at The Barfly in Liverpool with Howling Bells (a gig we were quite pleased with). To cut a long story short we had a few problems with this bird who worked there as the ‘promoter’ and as we had broken the ridiculous un-written rule of arranging another gig in Liverpool within two weeks of each other, this jumped-up Nazi demoted us down the running order and got in the afore mentioned band in to play ahead of us on the bill without telling us as a kind of punishment. We tried to talk this band out of it, but, with them being the posing selfish wanna be cock stars they are, they declined. That story, to me, summed up everything that is bad and selfish about musicians who would trample over there Nan’s body to reach the heady heights of fame!! Needless to say we never spoke to them again or set foot in the venue either. One thing is for sure though: they came out of the whole affair without their reputations intact. So, serious, moody musicians = love ‘em or hate ‘em? Sadly, they’re here to stay and they’re making dark, dingy corners of nightclubs and bars up and down the country thoroughly miserable places to be. So, If you happen to be reading this Blog and are in the process of starting or thinking about starting a band with a bunch of mates, remember this = it costs nothing to get on, but pays to be a prick! Mol