Kick Out The Dad's Motherfu***rs !!!!!

A few weeks ago I received one of them extremely embarrassing video texts from a so called mate of mine (not gonna name any names here, but everyone knows the tall fella with the stick-on haircut I used to play the drums with don’t they?) Anyway, the video nasty in question was taken at a mate’s wedding when, in typical drunken fashion, I started off the nights ‘dancing’ (and before you ask: yes! I did have my tie round my head). Now, this wasn’t any normal form of dancing, oh no, in fact, it was quite far from it, It was Drunken Dad Dancing. Now, I’m not a parent, but according to my ‘mate’ (and after witnessing the afore mentioned cringe-worthy video) I can admit that I do dance like a proper cock (try and imagine a cross between Michael J Fox, Napoleon Dynamite & Stephen Hawking after a couple of ‘Garys’) After watching the video I noticed quite a few people laughing and gaining pretty honest enjoyment from my ‘moves’ and it got me thinking: are dads ‘in’? If you are Emily & Michael Eavis you certainly are if you look at the proposed/rumoured line up for Glastonbury 2009. Every year at Glasto the organisers have some sort of musical legend gracing the stage. In recent years they have had James Taylor, Shirley Bassie & Tony Bennett to name a few, but they have never been the main headliners, as they have had the rather patronisingly named ‘Legends’ slot. This year the possible/proposed headliners are Bruce Windscreen or Neil Young = both hardly spring chickens respectively. So, is this arthritis-riddled line up all a ploy by the Eavis household to show the masses that there will no longer be the controversial hip hop (or in this instance: Hip ‘op’) genre headlining the famous Glasto stage, but the future will well and truly be guitar-based-well-known-way-past-their-best-singers/bands? Or is it just simply down to marketing and demand? Who knows? Who gives a shit? I don’t as I don’t go to Glasto. So, as I have just turned the illustrious ago of 37 (stop laughing there at the back) and sad to say leaving my festival days behind me, I was thinking about an alternative if people do really want to see just bands with age and jangling bones on there side, it’s called = Glastondaddy. Glastondaddy Features & Facilities: No beer, wine or cider on sale at Glastondaddy as there will just be stuff like Speckled Hen or Bishop’s Finger. There would be a pipe & slippers tent for anyone wanting to have forty winks. A new area for beard trimming could be introduced. Crowd surfing would be way out of bounds, but it could be replaced with Stannah-Surfing. You could also have the HP Sauce stage. The possibilities for all things dad are endless, which finally brings me to the music: The Main Stage (sponsored by Deep Heat) headlining: Bruce Springsteen singing ‘born to walk’ Followed by: Iron Maiden singing ‘stroll to the hills’ Followed by: The Sex Pistols singing ‘Alzheimer’s in the UK’ And: Led Zeppelin singing ‘Stair Lift to Heaven’ And finally: Mick Jagger & David Bowie singing ‘dancing in the walk-in bath’ So, people, are you prepared to pay £90 to spend the weekend at Glastondaddy, drink bitter and share a packet of Werther’s Originals with your best mate? I would. At least you wouldn’t have any friggin’ kids there!!!!!!! Then again, you’d have no footies to burst either! Geeertcha! By the way, if you want to comment on this or have any other musicians/songs for the Glastondaddy line up, post a comment and we’ll get on to Eavis and his daughter. The best idea wins a free year’s subscription to Country Life Magazine. Nice 1 Mol

Welcome To The House (That Was) Fun

This week saw the closure of the world famous Astoria venue in London. It was an iconic venue home to some of the most notorious of gigs including Nirvana, Radiohead & The Manic Street Preachers (their last gig as a four piece by the way). Although I’ve never been there myself, the Astoria has long been known in the music community as a dingy, smelly place that was pretty much revered by many people who attended gigs there. To me, it sounds like heaven when you compare it to some of today’s more modern arenas After reading the article about The Astoria, it got me thinking about music venues of today in general and of course the MEN (Manchester, in case you didn’t know) as I’ve seen many gigs there myself. Apart from having to get the last train home (as I live in Liverpool) or running the gauntlet of hiring a dodgy ‘cab’ off a non-English speaking gent while he bombs it down the M62 at speeds Lewis Hamilton does during his day job, the place to me is just quite simply another example of corporate greed taking the soul out of music and replacing dingy music venues and with these nice big shiny ones (with all mod cons, of course). Music venues to me are about three things: music, character and atmosphere. It’s not about glamour, image, glitz, fashion, corporate sponsors, money or how many oranged-up scally birds with fake tits wearing Armani dresses you can get standing at the bar. But, sadly music has become another ‘label’ to the new found music glitterati. I’ve lost count of how many women I know saying “Eeee, I can’t wait to see Kings of Leon next week” just because the gig is in the Echo Arena (Liverpool’s new Wanna-be-WAG playground). I wonder if any of the girls actually posses a KOL album? They remind me of the girls you see wearing Ramones t-shirts (I’m always tempted to ask these Air-Heads if they can actually name all four of the Ramones, but that’s a bit too cruel) One of the best gigs I ever went to was Hundred Reasons playing the Barfly in Liverpool a good few years ago. No one else wanted to go (as most of my mate’s thought they were gash) so I decided to take my missus. She had no idea what type of band they were like, so in order to secure her company for the evening I told her they were an ‘easy on the ears pop act’ with some nice soothing tunes and a steady background rhythm section (ha ha). The look on her face two songs in when it seemed the ceiling was going to cave in due to amount of lunatics there were crowd surfing, throwing beer everywhere, stamping their feet and basically having a good old mosh was absolutely priceless!!! My hand was firmly gripped by hers for the rest of the evening as she looked on in sheer terror. My ‘Boyfriend of the Year Award Winners Speech’ was not needed that year, a bandage to heal her nail imprints was needed!! That to me though it is what makes a brilliant venue: Sweat dripping off the ceiling, 1cm of piss on the bog floor, ear-bleedingly-loud speaker system, low lit corners for anyone wanting a moment of intimacy and of course very little security presence, basically – dingy! As well all know Liverpool is steeped in rich musical history, but apart from the Cavern, no one ever really mentions the venues when they do talk about the Liverpool scene. Liverpool has it’s fair share of good old fashioned venues: The Lomax, The Picket, the Zanzibar and The Carling Academy are fine examples (though sadly most of them are now closed) although I must admit I have fell down the stairs on quite a few occasions in the Academy (and they are pretty steep as most of you can vouch). But that’s by the by and worth taking and contributing towards a memorable night out, which by the way brings me to a certain M Keenan of Huyton, Liverpool when he tied the shoe laces together of some poor bastard who took the knock on the stage one night. The sight of him falling flat on his face as he was revived by his friends (who were in on the jape) was probably the most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen in a club. Even the bouncers laughed!!! Now, take Mr Keenan’s antics of then and try and repeat them now and you’d probably end up in court the next day (if you got the chance to carry out the scurrilous act, of course). It’s got so bad that some places even hire fashion police on their doors these days. The less said about them tits the better!! Don’t get me wrong, not all dingy venues are great as some of them are pretty much so run down they are beyond shit! During my time in the band we played in pretty much every venue in Liverpool and quite a few up and down the country. The Pit in Liverpool was one such aptly named venue. Fuck me! That was one seriously shit place to play! I remember fusing the microphone once whilst singing, I felt like I’d just necked Jaa Jaa Binks after he’d just sucked on a battery!!!! So, everyone, do me a favour: next time you go to a gig in one of these state of the art venues, remember a few things: music isn’t about being in a plastic, soulless, corporate arse-kissing arena, it’s about music and atmosphere. If they don’t have them you may as well go home. Either that or try and tie someone’s shoe laces together, sit back and watch the carnage unfold. Mol

No Spandex Required: The Guitar Hero Generation

Before I start I would like to wish all the 3 people who read this blog a very happy new rear. Cheers and all the best for 2009. Last week while I was visiting the fantastic city of Prague my rather drunk and hazy eyes read a quote from Chelsea goal keeper Petr Cech. In the interview he mentioned how when he was growing up Communism helped him in his career in football. To his point he added that today’s kids (under Capitalism) are too busy sat in front of the telly, Playstation or X-box instead of actually physically taking part in sport. Now, I know very little about communism & sport (apart from the butch like shot putting ladies of the old USSR in the 80’s) and also the two are not the reason why I write this blog as you well know, but when it comes to music the big Czech may just have stumbled across a pretty good point. Since the arrival of Guitar Hero a few years back countless amounts of bands including Aerosmith, Metallica & guitarists such as Slash signed up to promote this game. Personally the only video game I play is Snake II on my Nokia phone, and I used to be a bit of a dab hand at Frogger & Donkey Kong, but that’s another matter I suppose. Anyway, I know playing Guitar Hero is not actually playing the guitar for real, but it’s popularity has seriously risen of late (the fools have even included drummers for some bizarre reason!!!), but is that a good thing for wanna be proper guitarists of the future? Is the rise of Guitar Hero gonna revolutionise music? Are gigs gonna be taking place in people’s living rooms, kitchens or even in the shitter? The possibilities are endless. Imagine the following scenario if you can: You’re an 11 year old kid in the future, it’s crimbo morning and you wake up to un-wrap Guitar Hero 15 and you are seriously made up! You then ring your mates and guess what? … They all have the same presents, too. So, over-excited because it’s Christmas, you then decide to form a band. Bingo! Instant band plugged in and ready to raaaawk! Sadly for the guitar purists of this world (me included), it seems the art of learning the guitar properly could quite possibly be a thing of the past. There is a case for the defence of the guitar hero generation, but there is also one for the guitar purists of this world. Silence in court … Case for Guitar Hero Being in a band can sometimes be quite miserable as many of you reading this can vouch for with the only memorable parts usually being the thirty or so minutes you use to spend on stage. Rehearsing, picking up gear, song writing songs, having arguments, musical direction and travelling in the back of a transit van sitting in a deck chair with four other lunatics with seriously bad arses all the way to a gig the other side of the country were all pretty forgettable examples/experiences. Playing Guitar Hero is a much more easy option and also rather cheaper than being in a band as you can sit in the comfort of your living room with a few mates round enjoying a few beers making proper cocks out of your self to the back catalogue of AC/DC or Led Zeppelin whilst wearing a rather tight pair of spandex kex!! Compare that to being in a band and having to shell out XX amount of money each month for rehearsal costs, petrol, tight spandex kex, strings and of course the hundreds of pounds guitars actually cost. In such hard economic times it’s easy to see why many kids are staying in with their mates and doing stuff like this. Case for Guitar Purists When I first learnt the guitar it is was a very personal affair (self taught, ahem). I have fond memories of sitting in my room as a teenager playing for hours on end much to the displeasure of my parents. It was great back then as it was a form of escapism for most teenagers from the boredom of school & college life. Playing the guitar was cool and it sometimes changed people’s perceptions and opinions of you “wow! You play the guitar?” or “you’re in a band???” Even the biggest of school & college geeks (me NOT being one by the way) sometimes received respect from their adversaries down to the fact that they played guitar. Sadly some kids are pretty rubbish at things like footy, skate boarding or even break dancing, but playing the guitar I found brought out a certain degree of self confidence I never really had a kid as believe it or not I was quite shy and withdrawn during my adolescence. The Future So, what of the future of music? I’m not saying that Guitar Hero is going to have a massive effect on music as a whole, but there’s a chance it will have some influence. One thing is for sure though: music WILL always adapt to current trends and technologies it always has done and it always will (does anyone remember saying “I’m not buying a CD player”!!). We are now well into the digital age of music, Guitar Hero is taking the digital age and morphing it with the virtual age that maybe is to come. So, what do you/we do? Do we continue down the usual path of the tried and test good old fashioned band/rehearse/play live scenario or do we embrace this new age of music and form virtual bands with your mates in your living room? One thing that will tip the balance is the one thing that has always been constant during the age of live music: musicians need audiences! Whether they are real or virtual is a question for the history books and the success of this possible new future of music. Virtual Spandex though, that’s a question of how big your balls are compared to the size of your cyber socks you might get for crimbo … if you’re a good kid, or course. Mol

And The Winner Is ......

My Awards of the year 2008 Its that time of year when you get sick of adverts for Nick Hancock’s Football Gaffs Galore 17, annoying people ask you to buy raffle tickets for disabled donkeys, and music releases of X Factor cast-offs are sold in TJ’s bargain bin. Yes! … It can only be one time of year … Christmas! So, in the true spirit of Christmas and as inevitable as a 0/10 from the NME for your 2nd album, I thought I’d do a kind of review of the year with regards to what got my boat sailing and what didn’t, in a musical sense of course. So, without the services of Jonathan Ross presenting this prestigious list as he’s too busy shagging Andrew Sachs’ Granddad … the nominees are … Singles: A Punk: Vampire Weekend. American indie, Fun stuff. In This City: Igloo & Hartley. Catchy pop (released at wrong time of year though) The Day That Never Come: Metallica. Metal up your arse!!!!!!!!!! Spiralling: Keane. The pick of the new 80’s rip off tunes. Catchy & clever Grounds for Divorce: Elbow. Brilliant track, but used on the telly far too much. Salute your Solution: Raconteurs. Song of the year without a doubt. Albums: Death Magnetic: Metallica. Metal (back) up your arse!!! Consolers of the Lonely: Raconteurs. Gritty blues The Seldom Seen Kid: Elbow. Emotional stuff, a modern classic Pacific Ocean Blue: Dennis Wilson. A lost gem re-released. Luna: The Aliens. Superb follow up to brilliant debut album Black Ice: AC/DC. Needs no explanation what so ever. Heroes: Jay Z: I’m not a big fan of hip hop, but you’ve gotta admit, that was a barnstorming set at Glasto that took a lot of guts to do. Also anyone who wipes Noel Gallagher’s eye in such a fashion and gets him to shut the hell up for once deserves credit Metallica: £5 entry to their gig at the O2 arena. True heroic antics in such economic times for their loyal fans. Every other greedy musician, promoters & record labels: take note Elbow: winning the mercury award and dedicating it a close mate who died. Good lads who seem to not have their heads inserted up their own arses. Also good on them for sticking to their guns with regards their sound. Great album and well deserved. Villains: Glasvegas: I don’t think I’ve ever heard such dreary rubbish in my entire life. Dull, dull, dull, dull, dull, etc, etc, etc, etc …. Need I go on? Coldplay: I’ll admit I’m a little bit of a fan but, what the hell is it with the outfits? Crimes against fashion? Anyone? And yes, they WERE made by themselves. Mystery Jets: (see above Coldplay comments) Johnnie Borrell – shit band, still a big time arse and he STILL wears white friggin’ jeans!!! Bell end. And by the way, how embarrassing was that video where they were holding the matches? Hahahaha, what a pile of shite!!!!! Disappointment(s) of the year Melodia: The Vines You and Me: The Walkmen Was seriously looking forward to both of the above, but sadly they are pretty dreadful. Off days or downward spiral? Mmm, I can’t decide. Damn shame as they are both superb bands. So, that’s all until after Christmas now. I’m gonna put me feet up and watch Only Fools & Horses. L8zz. Happy New Year everyone, see you in it Mol

It's Not About Ye Vorsprung Durch Tecknic Ye Know?

I tend not to use the word Indie whilst talking about music as I find the term pretty annoying, but for the sake of this blog I shall use it on a temporary basis. Independent music is not just about mop tops, a multi-coloured bead neck less, Johnny Knoxville trainees and baggy semi-flares it’s about being independent from the majors. Putting out what you want and basically having pretty much full artistic control of your music is the basic genetic make up of an Indie label. So, it is only fitting that true Indie Greats Blur have return … to save the day. So, is there any other way? Let’s have a look at the current contenders.

Most people who know me will know about my sheer contempt for shite cock-indie Ponses Razorlight. They claim to be Indie (as well as many other things if you believe Johnny ‘I’m the greatest song writer ever’ Borrell) but, in my opinion, they are nothing short of glammed up, 3 chord tabloid hunters who are so far up their own arses they are nearly kissing their own colons!!! Other acts who claim to carry the Indie Baton are similar funsters Kaiser Chiefs, Snow Patrol, Fratellis & Bloc Party. The Kaisers are just a 10 year extension of Blur in their prime, Fratellis footy-mad indie terrace chanting makes me reach for the aspirin every time I hear them while Bloc Party’s post-punk sounding dross is sadly beginning to wear thin after a pretty promising start. As for Snow (snore) Patrol: I’m not even gonna go there. All of the above lacked the creativeness Blur had by a massive margin.

Apart from the typically well known dodgyness of Country House, many many brilliant tunes have been released from Blur such as Beedlebum, I’m Just a Killer For Your Love, There’s No Other Way & To The End: all pretty wide ranging in music style that were far superior to their then rivals Pulp, The Verve & Oasis who all stuck to their own sounds (in their own special way, of course) The Verve cornered the dreary market to the extent I couldn’t understand a word out of Richard Ashcroft’s mouth apart from the “no no noooo’s”, Pulp championed the people watching of suburban backstreet sexual encounters to the point of voyeurism while Oasis’ entire back catalogue and current efforts continue to regurgitate Beatles references for the one millionth time. By the by, same old, same old. Blur were, in the Radiohead sense of things, (but maybe not so extreme): different, but not different for the sake of being different. Britpop was born!

Albarn & Co have not been living off their royalties since the release of the 2003 Think Tank by any means; Damon Albarn a successful partner in Gorillaz, Alex James living on his farm making his own cheese, Graham Coxan enjoying a pretty successful solo career and Dave Rowntree bizarrely running for parliament has taken up the majority of their time. But, as Bass Player Alex James recently said “I’ve got my old job back” – a return to his old employment certainly brings a smile to my face.

So, what of the future for the pioneers of Britpop? The grand setting of Hyde Park(life) is already confirmed. As well as a massive pay bonus from label: Live Nation. After that, Glastonbury maybe? Then the usually cycle of album &Tour? If so, the choice of venues and size of the tour would be quite interesting to see as they are certainly not in the same mould as other recent reformations such as Take That. Maybe Alexander Palace would be more suited than the O2 to kick off the tour for example. After that the usually dingy settings around Britain & Europe would be just perfect for a band like Blur. The quality of the music though is pretty much guaranteed: good.

So, all hail the great Blur: true Indie champions. Let’s hope that they don’t do a ‘best of tour’ as that would just simply be a sell out. Stick to what you do best chaps as it’s not about your Vorsprung Durch Tecknik ye know? It’s about you joggers that go round, and round, and round, and round …….

Mol

Bubble Life: The Over-Protective World of the Pampered Musician

A few months back the European (even though 8 out of 11 winners were American) MTV awards took place in our great city of Liverpool. At the disposal of the stars in attendance were a wide ranging list of luxury items including water chilled to the specifically requested temperature, blankets for their rat-looking pooches and of course a back stage areas and dressing rooms just about big enough to fit some of their egos in. whilst reading about these diva-like demands I instantly thought of the scene from Wayne’s World 2 when the Mad Brummie Roadie recites his story of having to find the different coloured M&M’s for Ozzy Osborne. A true spinal tap moment if there ever was one. Since I have been listening to music I have always seen musicians as this social outcast outlaw type of figure. Be it Keith Richards writing songs about Heroin, Guns ‘N’ Roses writing about Violence or Iggy Pop writing about Heroin AND Violence. The life style which is associated with these characters has always had the tag of (here’s the cliché) mad, bad and dangerous to know attached to them, but sadly this does not apply to today’s pampered ‘stars’. During my long and pretty much un-successful time in music, even though I and my fellow bands mates never reached the heady heights of the Echo Arena, alls we were offered in terms of accommodation & rider facilities was a dingy dressing room full of stubbed out ciggies, shameless pornographic graffiti about the female singer from Chione, snapped guitar strings, used johnnies, four lukewarm cans of Skol and a bog (if we were lucky). Afterwards if we were given anything close to a half decent round of applause or £20 from the usually scurrilous venue promoter (before he had managed to leave through the side entrance, of course) was greeted with absolute amazement (Apollo, Mart, Ben & Stuart Arnold Ferguson Pritchard = I think you can vouch for that). I’d like to see the face on Mariah Carey if she were lead upstairs in the Zanzibar by Tony Butler and told: “eeeeeer, put ye gear der, luv” During his time, a hero of mine: Bon Scott, immediately after one of his performances with AC/DC used to do one thing and that was go to the bar (and stay there). Now, when I say the bar, I mean the public bar with the rest of the great unwashed who had spent their hard earned cash to watch him perform that night. Scott was a true man of the people, a working class hero that fans could relate to as he was quite simply, one of them. He never employed body guards, had a small dog (WTF!!!), employed image consultants or PA’s and you most certainly never seen him on a episode of the cringe-worthy MTV Cribs showing the people of the world what he’s got stored in his bleeding fridge!!! The occasional outlaws do exist in today’s music in the mould of Pete Doherty & Amy ‘Linden’ Winehouse, but they are few are far between and seriously demonised in the conservative press. The likes of Donny Tourette, the lads from The View & the occasional guy you see hanging out of Kate Moss’ arse could be in the category of ‘phoney outlaws’ who claim to cut the mustard … but, sadly, they don’t even come close to licking the jar. Without mentioning the hilarious incidents involving Noel Gallagher in Canada and Amy ‘Linden’ Winehouse at Glastonbury this year, I feel the ‘them & us’ relationship between performer & crowd has also steadily got bigger in recent years. Partitioning, crowd control, ticket inspecting and over suspicious beefed-up security have made music venues seem like places of imprisonment instead of entertainment. Some performers only have to look at the weather or receive the slightest bit of stick from a member of the crowd these days and it’s a case of “I’m not going out there, they’re insulting my artistic integrity, the buffoons”. Compare these actions to many years ago during the birth of punk, when the likes of Joe Strummer & Sid Vicious were pelted with bottles during their performances when they used to jump up in the air and head them back and then continue to play. It took a lot more than a broken nail or tepid water to get them to stop playing and throw a hissy fit! Of course that would never happen these days with the introduction of plastic pint glasses (which, by the way, quell any applause the crowd wish to give if you’ve noticed?) I remember meeting Tim De Laughter from The Polyphonic Spree once at one of their concerts and it has to be said he was a really decent chap, but there’s always the chance that ‘hero worship’ can come back and bite you on the balls. Whilst watching the local news a few weeks back they sent an intrepid reporter out in the freezing cold to interview some people who had been queuing up outside the afore mention Echo Arena who had been there for hours in a vein attempt to catch a mere sight of Pink walking into a nearby hotel. Maybe these fans are shallow, maybe they have something missing from their lives or maybe they are completely mentally instable!! I personally think the latter applies in this instance. But I also think if you compare Pink to the pop stars of old and it were 1976 and you were an AC/DC fan waiting outside to get the autograph of Bon Scott, you wouldn’t have long to wait long as he’d probably take you on an all-day bender and STAY there with you until you fell over until you could drink no more!! So, Ms Pink, in the highly unlikely event that you are actually reading this superbly written Blog (ahem), what would YOU do if I were to ‘start a fight’ with you? Would you live up to your falsely embarrassing lyrics and put your dukes up in a Queensberry rules style so we could 'get it on'? Or would you just leg it to your dressing room in your 5 star luxury hotel and set your bodyguards onto me? I suspect the latter myself One thing is for sure though: no matter what taste you have in music and no matter who is hanging from your bedroom wall (on posters), people, of all walks of life, especially those who have their limo doors opened and have their arses wiped for them should NOT be worshipped! This is just adding to their egos and increasing the size of their already over-inflated bubbles that they continually use to keep their fans at arms length and swelling the ‘them & us’ myth. Autograph hunters, doting fans and other genuine celebrity stalkers be warned = your heroes do have tendencies to be arseholes who live in bubbles … made out of glitter, diamonds and other expensive gems, of course. Mol

Death Factor: The Un-Easy Marriage of TV & Music

It seems everyone writes a Blog these days so I thought I’d join in an write about something I genuinely care about = music Now, I know it’s an easy target for the critics these days, but X-Factor really does have the most profound & negative effect on British (and in some instances global) music. So, without sounding like judge, jury & executioner, I have decided it does have a lot to answer for … Many years ago when I decided to choose the guitar as the instrument to play as it was always the epitome of cool. I was inspired to play (albeit in a pretty naff fashion as many of you can vouch for) the guitar due to the likes of Jimmy Page, Izzy Stradlin, Keith Richards & Mick Taylor = all worthy icons of instant hero status from an amazing age of music that will sadly never be repeated no doubt. It was real music played by real, honest people who took time in what they created and played. But, those days are truly over and the burial march of true, proper music has begun in the shape of the X Factor Since the creation of X Factor by serial tight kex wearer Simon (2 eggs in a hanky) Cowell the show has turned into a global phenomenon that has changed the relationship of music & television to a new level … for the worse! I won’t give you a history lesson as that’s not why I’m here, but TV & music has been around for many many years since the early days of Opportunity Knocks to the revolution that was MTV. But, since the arrival of X Factor a few years back they have re-written the rules of marriage between TV and music and in the process made it obviously clear to an entire nation that Warhol’s famous quote is alive and (maybe not) well and proves that ANYONE really can get on telly if they have talent or not. Apart from the cringe-worthy attempts by the wanna-be’s who sell their soul (and maybe even their own mothers) who queue for hours outside various studios up and down Britain, the show is made even worse by the pathetic, attention seeking ‘judges’ who bay for blood all in the name of light entertainment. If it isn’t Louis Walsh’s ridiculously continuing (staged) running spat with the afore mentioned Cowell, it is the over-emotional Cheryl Cole trying her best to pull on the heart strings of the nation with her crocodile tears and constant false reminders that she “luvs” every singer who takes to the stage. Lengthy careers beckon for all I suspect.

This may sound slightly controversial here, but I also think as well as musically, X Factor has a cultural impact on the people of Britain. Without sounding like some old fart that bursts kid’s footies with a knife, the rise of X Factor goes hand in hand with the ‘we-want-everything-now’ culture of the youth of today. It wasn’t too long ago that many children and young adults yearned to be in a band playing an instrument (drummers excluded, of course) that would eventually lead to a musical career of substance and a worthy placed amongst their peers that included the admirable likes of Stradlin Taylor, Page & Richards. It seems this has now been replaced by the pursuit of the extremely detestable ‘instant fame’ which is available to all be it if they are in possession of talent or not (just look at Daniel Evans for an example) after that, it’s Butlin’s all the way for the usually jaaag X Factor Tour. Success? I don’t think so It only seems fitting to end this debut Blog with a quote from a band of real talent & substance. I read an interview a few months back with the brilliant Elbow just after they had picked up the very well deserved Mercury award. Their enigmatic singer Guy Garvey made a rather fitting comment about X Factor: “for fucks sake, don’t these people who laugh at these poor fuckers realise that they are someone’s son or daughter?” After reading Garvey’s quote it made me think about the desperate attempts some people will go to in the short quest for ‘Instant Fame’. Self humiliation, embarrassment, desperation and damn right lack of self respect are obviously not part of their remit. The final nail may not yet be in the coffin of British music due to the much celebrated remaining troubadours like Elbow who are continually driven underground that still fly the flag of decency & taste. But, I hate to sound like a Daily Mail headline writer here, the threat still remains and the masses are gathering. So, go and blow the cob webs off that old Telecaster you’ve got in the loft as the battle lines are drawn