Where have all the Bell Ends Gone?

 

Have you noticed music is very nice these days? When I say nice, I mean nice! Fluffy! Friendly! Cuddly! Cosy! Uncontroversial! Clean!

 

While over in Liverpool a few weeks ago I was chatting to a mate of mine about the roguish brothers Gallagher of Oasis. We weren’t talking about their music, per say, as in my opinion, I’ve always considered it pretty bland. But we were talking about their attitude and their presence as rough arse working class lads who had the ability to not just upset the applecart, but to rob the apples, beat up the fella running it and set fire to it! They did this.... and more!

 

But, my point here is the brothers Gallagher (and the rest of the band along with a good handful of bands of the mid to late nineties, might I add) were so unlike the current crop of pop and rock stars of today’s music scene, it really does seem far too long since anyone was willing to speak up, stand out, and basically put two fingers up to the world without really giving a shit!

 

My reasoning behind this new found conformity and gentrification in music is obviously money. But, money is brought about by influence and the influence is brought about by sponsorship of tours and endorsement of products that will obviously pay more than the miserly record companies pay for services and music rendered!

 

So, artists sign more than record contracts these days – they sign sponsorship deals and other lucrative endorsements that quite simply make them rich! And how do they maintain this vast river of wealth flowing into the bank accounts? Yup – they toe the company line, say “yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir” and basically SHUT THE FUCK UP when asked anything tricky!

 

Anything controversial, political, or even, heaven forbid, slanderous will result in a lawsuit (due to new slander laws introduced by the UK’s totalitarian government) that is followed by a media witch hunt, which in turn results in career over and an empty bank account (cue: old blues record .... “ooooh, I woke up this mornin’....”)

 

This new found obsession with capitalism and celebrity in music is a far cry from a bye gone era that produced so many care free characters, individuality and, more important, better music!!

 

But, an example of where certain musicians used to be able to fuck up and get off their tits without receiving some of  the above ‘abuse’ are without doubt the once hilarious Brit Awards of the nineties! (Before it became so corporate) Some of these ‘spectacles’ were truly hilarious!

 

Look at Dave Rowntree scribbling ‘Dave’ on his face as a piss take towards Prince (who in turn was actually protesting about his record label) who had ‘Slave’ scribbled on his dial. Of course, you’d never see Dave doing this now as, rather bizarrely, he’s an MP!

 

Also, what about the heroic actions of Jarvis Cocker towards the rather creepy antics of Jacko surrounded by loads of kids on stage? (in case you didn’t know, Jarvis ran on stage in protest of Jacko’s ‘antics’ with certain children and started wiggling his scrawny arse at the camera!!) – Absolutely hilarious stuff!!

 

And what about Chumbawumba throwing a bucket of ice water over John Prescott in protest of the way New Labour were running the country! Good job ‘Prezzer’ wasn’t on stage as someone would have probably ended up with a left hook!!

 

Finally – we can’t mention The Brit awards without mentioning Sam Fox & Mick Fleetwood – words can’t not describe how much I laughed my balls off when watching this!! It was like an episode of The Day Today!!! Brilliant stuff

 

All of the above, if done these days, would no doubt result in an arrest and facing possible terrorism charges and, as is the point of this blog, the cessation of all contracts currently making the wonga flow freely and their career over

 

So, my point here is this – as with footballers, bankers and pretty much all politicians – how much money do you need and are you going to spend it all in your lifetime???

 

Also, as the late great Bill Hicks once pointed out: “Do a commercial and you are off the artistic roll call! You are Satan’s little helper and you are sucking his cock! ... Send MC Hammer in!”

 

Also, I’m not promoting the use of it or, indeed dismissing it, but there seems to be a lack of drug taking/users in music these days (without counting Pete Doherty, of course) . No one is busted in night club toilets anymore with half a pound of Columbia’s finest up their hooter!!

 

Rock stars all drink herbal tea along with their vegan diets and yoga style healthy works outs while out walking their dog or their ridiculously named spoilt brat kids!!!! BORING!!!

 

So, if any would be rock stars are reading this – do us a favour? Next time you are on stage or on telly, flash the V’s at the camera, have a piss on stage or smack some poncey arsed presenter on the chin – you’ll win more friends and hopefully, bring back a bit of much missed attitude and swagger to the music industry!!

 

 

Mol

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Importance of led Zeppelin

The importance of Led Zeppelin

 

Not for the first time in my life, I’m currently reading the marvellous ‘Hammer of the Gods’ by Stephen Davis. In case you’ve never read it or heard of it (shame on you if you haven’t) it’s an authorised biography about Led Zeppelin ... and it’s absolutely brilliant!!

 

So, with this being Mols Sound Words, I thought I’d reminisce a little about my continuing lifelong love affair with all things Zeppelin – the notoriety, the black magic, the tragedy, the fame, the fortune, the controversy, but, above all for me, the music!

 

Every now and then, when you get to my age, you tend to go through phases when you‘re-discover’ a band that played a big part in your life! The memories that comes with it (and there’s many of them) and the great times you had in your youth!

 

But, as the whole point of this blog is – we sometimes take Led Zeppelin for granted and completely misunderstand where music would be without them! I know music today is pretty shite, granted, we all know that, but during the time most of us grew up – the late 80’s, mid 90’s and the early 00’s, Led Zeppelin were absolute gods and nothing really has changed! Hence the word ‘importance’ in the title of this

 

I saw a posting on Facebook a few weeks ago. It was a rather amusing graph that depicted the topics of Led Zeppelin songs. 50% was about sex, 49% was about mystic goblins, sorcery and Lord of the Rings and 1% was about citrus!* Made me laugh that!! But, it kind of was posted in a half serious manner because if you really do look at the topics led Zeppelin wrote about, these three subjects pretty much narrows it down perfectly

 

 *and yes – I do know The Lemon Song is about sex!!

 

But, the whole joy and pure brilliance about Led Zeppelin is not just the subjects and lyrics of their songs! To truly understand how they ‘ticked’, you have to listen to the production side of each and every one of their albums!

 

In ten short years Jimmy Page and Peter Grant (with the odd contribution from John Paul Jones), Led Zeppelin took the production of music to boundaries never before heard. Granted, when Page ‘assumed control’ of The Yardbirds, he did change their production style from standard R&B (this is proper R&B by the way, not the shite you hear booming from pimp mobiles with black out windows in every city centre around the world) to cosmic, space-age freak out rock! But his work with Led Zeppelin surpassed everything he did with The Yardbirds by a country mile! Even the simple affect of quickly changing the vocals from one speaker to another during the end of Ramble On from Led Zep 2, to the awesome drum sounds of Led Zep 4, Led Zeppelin were the true pioneers and innovators of modern twentieth century heavy rock!! We truly do have a lot to thank them for not just for the inspiration their music gave, but for the way music is produced today.

 

Led Zeppelin was more than just a band – they were absolute phenomena in all aspects of the music industry. They were the first band to secure a royalties deal (courtesy of their manager Peter Grant – more on him later) that equalled four times of what The Beatles earned. They were the first band to sell out stadium after stadium in the US with releasing less than 5 singles! They were the first band to secure a deal with music promoters in America that gave the band a 90/10 split! They were the first band to be paid a million dollars for a small tour of America! They were the first band to turn American blues from artists like Howling Wolf, Sonny Boy Williamson and the much revered Robert Johnson into heavy rock! – THAT was new

 

The players

 

Robert Plant

 

When Plant joined Led Zeppelin, he was a shy, young boy who suffered from homesickness and had to hide behind the amps because he was too shit scared to face the crowd! But, he grew into it fairly quickly and become one the finest singers the world of music has ever seen. There’s a great story in the book I’m reading about him and Bonham cowering and crying in the back of a van that was about to break down in severe snow! Bonham & Plant were very close as they were both from the same area of the midlands and Plant’s rea2ction to Bonham’s death was the main reason Led Zeppelin never continued. You can’t blame him really as Bonham really was a damn fine drummer!

 

Plant also had this aura about him! You could say some sort of mystic, god-like spirit. Men wanted to be him and women simply worshipped him. Rumour has it that he once stood on the balcony of the LA Riot House and announced to his worshipping hoards gathered beneath him: “I am a golden god!” – In a way, you kind of agree with him!

 

John Paul Jones

 

Like Jimmy Page, JPJ was a stalwart of the hired session musician scene. Jones could pick up any instrument by the time he was 13 years old and pretty much master it! He also, unknown to many, possessed the great ability to arrange music for some of the best artists around at the time such as Aretha Franklin and Wilson Picket.

 

Jones was the ‘quiet’ member of the band who never messed around with groupies and hardly ever did drugs. He was also rumoured to be the only member of the band who didn’t ‘sell their souls to the devil’ in return for instant fame and fortune. Hence the reason he never encountered personal sadness or disaster like Page, Plant and ultimately Bonham! But, JPJ’s experience and expertise was vital to Led Zeppelin’s outstanding musical arrangements and style! Without JPJ – there simply would not be a Led Zeppelin! 100% professional to the core!   

 

John Bonham

 

He was very much a simple man with simple needs and taste! His drumming style though was far from simple! Bonham changed the way drumming way played throughout rock music! This was mainly down to the size of his drum sticks – tree trunks, as they become known. He also developed a recording style helped by Jimmy Page where he placed tin foil around the inside of his bass drum that gave the impression of it sounding like two drums! Maybe that’s why his drums sounded SO loud.

 

Before Bonham, rock drumming was very much in the background of music and recorded, rather daftly, in mono by bands like Cream, the Kinks & the Beatles recorded the drums as a mere afterthought and background music. Have a listen to their recordings and you’ll realise it sounds pretty lame and thin compared to Bonham’s banging and boisterous pounding! An example of this drumming would be the intro to When the Levee Breaks off Led Zep IV – stunning playing and even better production that jumps up and gives you full on kick in the bollocks!

 

Bonham, though, fell foul to the lifestyle that sadly took his life at the age of 31 – drink, drugs and an all-round dark ability to be seriously un-liked and nasty – which he was when he was drunk! He was nick-named The Beast by everyone associated with the band (who often hid from him during after show parties). Groupies feared him as did other bands including his own! It’s sad to say, but he was such an immense drummer, but, when drunk, a dreadfully horrible person too! But, rock drumming would not be where it is today if it weren’t for Bonham - Dave Grohl, Phil Rudd, Steven Adler, Stewart Copeland, Phil Selway, even other drummers of that era have a lot to thank him for.   

 

Jimmy Page

 

Jimmy Page – in my opinion the best guitarist ever! Forget Clapton, Beck & Hendrix, Page was a master! A sorcerer! A wizard! A shaman! He could hold an entire audience spellbound for hours with his magic show and his attack towards his guitar! He was the first guitarist to use a thermion in tandem with his guitar playing, hypnotising the crowd with sci-fi sounds and the strange, alien noises it created! He was the first guitarist to experiment using a bow! He was the first guitarist to use two microphones when recording his guitar in a studio – one directly in front of his speakers, and another 10 feet behind so the microphone picked up the residual sound! He was the first guitarist to mix and produce his band’s music! He was simply a genius.

 

I remember reading some throw away comment about Jimmy Page on Facebook a few months back about him not moving on and being continually stuck in the past with his re-issuing and re-mastering of Led Zeppelin recordings – so what! Personally Led Zeppelin’s music will NEVER be stuck in the past! It’s as relevant, important and crisp today as it was over 40 years ago when it was recorded! For me, that is something to hold onto, cherish and be thoroughly proud of! – Page is responsible for all of this!

 

Peter Grant & Richard Cole

 

Behind every successful venture, be it in business or music is a mastermind! Behind every mastermind is hired muscle! These two were Grant & Cole. Cole started out being a roadie for many bands working for Grant before taking on the job of ‘looking after’ Led Zeppelin after persuading Grant to give him the job full time. Cole was a true hard bastard who took absolutely no shit from anyone who came within an inch of upsetting the band. His usual solution was to break someone’s nose or give them a good kicking backstage! God forbid any bootleggers in the crowd recoding a Led Zeppelin show as well as he was known to drag them out by their hair and smash their equipment! He did this once thinking it was a bootlegger, it turned out to be an under-cover police officer monitoring the sound levels!

 

Many things were written about Led Zeppelin. Many were true, many were made up! But one rule was absolute - you really didn’t fuck with or even try to fuck over Peter Grant! Period! There are plenty of stories about Grant’s notorious violent streak! One such story was how he escorted two rednecks from the backstage area by their waists after they pulled a gun on him in a dispute over money!! But the greatest and most poignant achievement in Grant’s time with Led Zeppelin was without doubt the record deal he secured for the band with Atlantic Records! The deal he agreed on would see the band receive 4 times more of what The Beatles received in their contract and has never been matched to this day! That is something you simply have to take your hat off to.

 

The band, after Bonham’s death, split turned out to be pretty messy and lawsuits were filed in a haze of cocaine and tragedy! But Led Zeppelin remains to this day one of the highest grossing and successful bands the world has ever seen! This is all down to Peter Grant! Like him, love him or sue him, if you were in a tight spot – you’d want him on your side any day of the week!

 

My two favourite albums

 

Led Zep 4

 

Many rock critics and music observers over the years have said there are two great rock albums that sits at the top of the pile. Many say AC/DC’s ‘Back in Black’ and many say Led Zeppelin’s 4^th album (or ‘The Druids Album’, ‘Four Symbols’, ‘ZOSO’ or ‘Led Zep 4’ – as it has been known over the years). Personally, I think Back in Black IS a great album, but Led Zep 4 IS the greatest!

 

The intro to Black Dog is by far the most recognisable opening track in rock music! The wah wah wah wah wakka wakka wakka fade in of Page’s guitar really is quite splendid! Then Plant’s “hey hey mama ...” – brilliant!

 

This album was the first time Led Zeppelin adopted a recording technique on truly high tech equipment, by recording it at an old house owned by Jimmy Page called Hedley Grange. It’s also quite hard to believe that the whole of the drums were recorded on one microphone on the landing of the house! Once again, Bonham’s ability to pound the drums like no other drummer in the world was partially the result why the drums sound so mighty and loud!! Page turned the knobs to make it sound crisp! How he did this on one microphone though is truly outstanding!

 

But Led Zep 4 wasn’t all balderdash and balls out – it had a softer, tender side to it with songs like ‘Going to California’ and ‘The Battle of Evermore’. You could even count the intro to ‘Stairway to Heaven’ too! I felt this was Plant’s influence on the band due to his personal and stage persona of the peaceful, free loving hippy (take a look at his personal film on the film they did called The Song remains the Same – its utterly brilliant)

 

Led Zep 4 also had a degree of mysticism around it with the actual album having no record label insignia or writing except for the lyrics to Stairway to Heaven and four symbols that decorated the inside sleeve. The symbols (allegedly) represented each member of the band as chosen by themselves. The album cover itself lived up to Led Zeppelin’s trade mark strange ability to create the obscure

 

Many say they did this just to piss off the record label, but the truth was that they did it to wind the press up! The press (especially in America) seen them as arrogant rock star royalty and hated them for it! In a way, they were right! But led Zeppelin retaliated (as Grant would have them do) in a fashion that baffled the press by giving their first three album titles numbers instead of names, not releasing singles and, the straw that broke the camel’s back, releasing Led Zep 4, as i’ve stated, with no markings! Personally I think this was a stroke of genius! If there’s one thing that will get kids rushing to the shops to buy a new album – it’s the unknown! Especially when it’s the biggest band on the planet doing it! You only have to look at how many copies this album sold to realise how big it actually was!

 

THAT was what made Led Zep 4 so big and so brilliant! The press hated them, the labels hated them (because of the deal they had), but the kids LOVED them!!! You could say they really were a band of the people instead of these arrogant rock gods as they were labelled by the American press!!  

 

But, finally, when the dust settles and the sands of time (sic) find themselves back at square one and Mother Nature finally runs out of gas and air, Led Zep 4 will be sat there, on a misty mountain side, waiting, looking at its watch saying “I’m still here! Has anyone done anything better than me yet?”

 

Led Zep 2

 

Led Zep 2 was the first sign of Led Zeppelin beginning to experiment with different recording techniques as, and this is not a criticism here, but Led Zep 1 did sound slightly rushed (historically/allegedly it was recorded in 36 hours). This was also the first time Led Zeppelin began using sound effects. Songs like Whole lotta Love proved this

 

But, without doubt, the most stand out performance on the whole album has to be Page’s guitar work! Songs like Living Lovin’ Maid (She’s Just a Woman), The Lemon Song, Heartbreaker and Bring it on Home – I honestly don’t think Page never matched these performances!

 

To pick one song to sing Page’s praise though would have to be Heartbreaker! This is simply stunning that also has a degree of arrogant showmanship to the way the song stops at exactly 2 minutes and allows page to unleash what is quite possibly his greatest guitar solo! It really does have everything, but then stops to unleash the 2^nd guitar solo that even matched the first! Sublime!! For the record – both solos last 1:40, but seems like an eternity!!

 

But Heartbreaker isn’t just about the solo(s); the intro is firmly embedded into rock music folklore! Instantly recognisable across the world, you can almost see every rock music fan the world over doing the devil signs with their little finger and pointer finger upon hearing it (especially most inhabitants of The Swan pun in Liverpool, eh Pughy?)

 

Finally, you could say that led Zep 2 set the bar for heavy rock! Many Black Sabbath fans may disagree! They may have a point, but, in my opinion, Sabbath we’re one trick ponies with their sluggish rhythm section and their second rate guitar work! Led Zeppelin were 25 trick stallions ... with a big fuck off hard on! Led Zep 2 was the Viagra of the birth of stadium rock music! Led Zep 2 seen the birth of the TRUE rock guitar hero! Led Zep seen the start of real, new, innovative rock music production and set the mandate for rock/heavy metal music of today!

 

Summary

 

We all have our favourite bands! I do – the Stones! Most of you know that! It’s a love that will never go away to my last breath! But, and this is not a criticism of The Stones by any means, but Led Zeppelin, in my opinion made you think! They made you look up and go “WOW!!”. They made you appreciate all aspects of music whether it be heavy rock, psychedelic, folk, blues or pop! They made you look at Robert Plant & Jimmy Page and think “Fucking hell! I bet they could fuck any bird they wanted to at the drop of a hat!”

 

Led Zeppelin, in 11 brief years, jammed more outstanding music into that time than any other band in my opinion. But, more importantly – they made every album count! They never shirked or added some shit album filler at the request of some pushy A&R tit from a record label! This was mainly because they also (like The Stones & The Beatles) seen the advantages of creating their own record label thus giving them full artistic control over what they released – something you do not see these days!!

 

So, next time you listen to Led Zeppelin, think about the music and what they put into it! Think about Plant’s lyrics! Think about how Page thought out a solo! Think about John Paul Jones’ creativeness and think about Bonham being a drunken rhinoceros with two tree trunks as drumsticks bashing the fuck out of a drum kit!

 

Finally, I thought i’d leave you with the lyrics of the current, random Led Zeppelin song i’m listening to as I write this – ‘Thank You’ off Led Zep 2......

 

“If the sun refused to shine

I’d still be loving you

Mountains crumble to the sea

There’d still be you and me”

 

Marvellous stuff

 

 

 

Mol

 

The Brian Johnson Massacre

The Brian Johnson Massacre

 

A few days ago I read a rather disturbing article about AC/DC singer Brian Johnson facing the possibility of the sack after announcing that his hearing may well be on the way out

 

There are a few dark forces at work here

 

Firstly, it’s a pretty well-known fact that a lot of singers and musicians in general suffer from some sort of deafness towards the end of their careers. Obviously this is due to simple wear and tear as a result of standing in front of a very noisy drummer or guitarist for the best part of a few decades (I should know!).

 

Pete Townsend once famously stood in front of Keith Moon’s exploding drum kit on the Smothers Brothers show in 1965 resulting in his hearing being permanently damaged in one of his ears (this, of course, could have been avoided had Moon not got the man who was in charge of the pyrotechnics drunk the night before, but Moon was Moon – deranged)

 

Secondly I fail to see how the powers that be in AC/DC can come to this decision (if true, of course as there has been no official statement made yet by the band – which is also quite strange) to relieve Johnson of his duties

 

In case you didn’t know, Johnson joined the band after the death of the much loved Bon Scott in 1980 and recorded the critically acclaimed ‘Back in Black’ as their comeback album and tribute to Scott. You could say he saved their bacon as the rest of the band considered quitting!

 

After Back in Black, Johnson has continued to show true professionalism and loyalty over four decades to a band that he basically pulled out of the shit resulting in them being one of the biggest bands the world has ever seen!

 

You get the feeling they owe him BIG TIME!!

 

Thirdly, I know this sounds simplistic, but why can’t Johnson employ the services of a hearing aid? Pete Townsend, Ronnie Wood, Richie Blackmore and a whole host of other wrinkly rock stars have used one for years! Maybe vanity is an issue? If so, since when have AC/DC give a fuck about how they look??? (Maybe they’re thinking of doing a duet with Rhianna!!)

 

Fourthly, with AC/DC being a band that easy fall into the category of ‘Band of the People’, why are they acting as some sort of faceless corporation who throw away loyalty and sentiment and replace it with some sort of ridiculous X Factor style selection process by plucking some no mark from obscurity to replace Johnson! That’s NOT the way AC/DC do things and, honestly, if true, I will have lost all respect I once had for them!!

 

What I usually do here now is play devil’s advocate, but I’m not going to!

 

AC/DC’s actions here are nothing short of greed and capitalism! You get the feeling they are trying to squeeze every last dollar out of their fans by placing some puppet into Johnson’s shoes when they should just do the honourable thing and call it a day! Iron Maiden did a similar thing years ago when Bruce Dickenson left – that blew up in their faces as well!!

 

Granted, AC/DC have obligations to make and fans to please, but, personally, I’d rather just have my money back than watch them take to the stage with some phoney who will probably do his own piss poor impression of one of the greatest rock singers the world has ever witnessed!!

 

Also, if once again this is true, why can’t Angus and the boys just simply say in true rock n roll fashion “fuck it, We’re not carrying on or playing” (like they did when Bon Scott died) as they’ve made enough money, made enough great records and finish on top with the adulation and love of their fans safe in their hearts!  

 

Finally – I think they owe an explanation or some sort of statement to the people who have followed them all over the world for nearly five decades and made them who they are – the fans!!

 

Then again, seems we really are walking dollar signs and the people who made them great are merely expendable commodities who can be replaced at the drop of a hat!!

 

 

 

 

Mol