So!
The boys are back eh?
Yup!
It’s the news most fans of The Stones have been waiting for and the news the
world’s critics (and their pencil sharpeners) have also been waiting for – 50
years of the greatest rock n roll band the world has ever witnessed
Now,
anyone who knows me and who also reads this Blog knows of my un-dying love for
all things ‘Mick n Keef’, but, it has to be said, the recent ‘events’
surrounding The Rolling Stones’ 50th anniversary has left me
slightly scratching my barnet in bemusement and slight disbelief.
First
up I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read that the cheapest seats the band are
selling for the O2 gigs were for £95 (with some gigantic, fat bell end sat in
front of you no doubt). As for the dearest corporate Prawn Sandwich brigade seats
that are usually reserved for Kate Moss or some Bent Russian Gangster, they
were goin for nearly a grand! A GRAND!!!
Now I
know a lot of people may think that is pure extortion (which I’m not arguing
about as simply put – it is), but the band should really think of the knock on
affect the pricing for these concerts is going to have! You can almost hear
Rihanna or Coldplay’s accountants thinking “if The Stones can charge a grand
……”
Personally,
Mick & Keef and their army of lawyers and clever accountants should have
thought this through a lot more due to the current financial climate the
country finds itself in. (I was gonna make some cheap gag containing ‘Doom
& Gloom’ for a minute, but decided not to … oh, hang on ….)
Second
up on The Stones not-to-do list in my opinion is an old one that people
continue to bring up every time they get together – they are simply too old to kick it anymore!
Keith
fell out of a tree a few years back! Thankfully, Keith was fine but the tree
was severely damaged and had to be put out of its misery! Add to that that he
still looks like Zelda from the Terrorhawks and he really does look like a
mess!! Although he recently had a cancer scare but is now ok, Charlie Watts has
started to resemble the old Dad from the Texas Chainsaw Massarce and looks like
he’s about to collapse any minute (to be honest – I’ve seen Stuey play the
drums for a good few hours and even he’s been fucked afterwards and he’s only
47!!!). Ronnie Wood, as we all know, enjoys one too many drinks as well as the
affections of certain Russian cocktail waitresses! As for his smoking, he’s had
that same Marlboro is his gob since 1975!!
And
Mick, ah, good old Sir Mick! The Eternal Red Rooster is still prancing around
like a ferocious beaver asking Keith for the price of a tin of beans!! On the
subject of Sir Mick though, My wife said to me the other night when we were
watching the rather splendid ‘Crossfire Hurricane’ in a scene after making a
comment about what Keith said about Charlie having to look at Sir Mick’s arse
for 50 years. She said “I feel sorry for Stuey having to look at your arse as
well”. So, my darling wife, and Stuey as well, my point(s) here regarding mine
and Sir Mick’s backsides are these:
- Sir Mick’s arse resembles
two Hot Crossed Buns underneath a velvet hanky, while my arse is pretty
fit for my age
- Stuey enjoys looking at my
arse (fact)
- Stuey’s mother-in-law
enjoys looking at my arse (fact)
- I’ll leave it there for
now!
Finally,
as I’m actually finding it hard to think of a third criticism, why on god’s
earth have they dug Bill Wyman out of his boring arsed grave to play again with
the band? I get a massive wiff of show biz bullshit about this!
I
mean, lets be honest here, I could hardly imagine people queuing around the
block to buy tickets just because Bill Wyman is playing (2 songs) with The
Stones again!! He’s hardly a sex symbol again (yeah, I know, lets not talk
about his first spell as a sex symbol) is he? Lets just hope Mandy Smith and
her Ma’ don’t turn up this time as the first time that story came out pretty
much made me feel sick to the bone anyway! I could do without it rearing its
ugly head again thanks very much!
But,
I’m not gonna sit here all day and slag off The Stones as there are many many
legitimate reasons not to slag them off (one being that it pained me to write
most of the above)
Firstly
they have been responsible for some of the greatest songs anyone has ever heard
in the history of popular music! And, in true style of all ‘writers’ who quote
some songs when writing anything about The Stones, I’m gonna list some of them
(if you disagree with me, you a quite simply an arse)
Jumping
Jack Flash
Gimme
Shelter
Satisfaction
Sympathy
for the Devil
Street
Fighting Man
Wild
Horses
Tumbling
Dice
These
songs truly defy time! They also sound even better when re-mastered. Add to
them to many other album tracks (which I’m not gonna list) that also stand the
test of time and you come to realise that some people might have been pretty
deluded when making quotes about comparing The Beatles to The Stones!
As for
their best albums which were, granted, only over a spell of a few years, Sticky
Fingers, Let it Bleed, Exile on Main
Street
Now,
if you add together the above list of great songs and albums and then add to
the mix the social and political situations of the time of the late sixties and
early to mid seventies including civil un-rest and cultural changes (some
people call it revolution) – The Stones’ timing could not have been anymore
perfect for people to be turned onto their music!
They
were the icons and inspiration of a generation that fought against the
establishment and walked the path a lot of today’s pop stars (including their
sponsors) could not even imagine to go down! They were the ultimate outlaws on
a different planet of excess and debauchery that would kill off the toughest of
people only to come out it smelling of roses leaving a legacy of music that
still stands the test of time today!!!
But,
my final point here is a killer point and it’s this - where there is demand, a
band will always guarantee to play! That is what The Stones do! That is what ALL
bands do! Whether they play in a pub in Knowsley that no one turns up to, or a
sell out at the O2 arena – a band will always play!
And,
although they have a combined age of 6788, The Stones are STILL a band and that is what they do! They don’t work in a
library or collect road cones off a motorway or clean shit out of public bogs,
they are musicians who play in a band, and, pending any un-expected deaths in
the forthcoming future, I thoroughly expect them to carry on until they drop!
Love
it or hate it – that is just simply the way of things!
Long
live The Stones – STILL
(after 50 years) the greatest rock n roll band in the world
Mol
