Oh No! It's Bono

November 9th 1989. The setting = Germany. People up and down the country from Leipzig to Berlin are demonstrating on the streets and the fall of Communism and the rise of Capitalism is imminent and the future of European and world politics is resting on a knife edge. Now, what does this historical drivel possibly have to do with music? Well, roll the clocks forward exactly twenty years to Berlin and the Brandenburg Gate to the 9th November 2009 where a live concert took place by the world famous U2 for a lucky ten thousand people. So, the stage is set and the people are anticipating a real musical treat … or are they? The organisers of the event = U2 and MTV have allocated ten thousand tickets for the lucky people able to cough up enough money to see the event and the rest of the rather unlucky people unable to obtain tickets can’t see the concert from the ‘free seats’ because of a … wait for it ……….. A wall!! A FUCKING WALL!!!!!!!!!!! How fucking disgustingly ironic that a party celebrating the re-joining of a nation split by oppression and hostility for nearly forty years is, once again, separated by a fucking wall!!! I nearly pissed myself laughing when I read about it and I equally pissed myself laughing when I seen the picture of the stage with the massive letters spelling FREEDOM spread across the top of the stage!! Now, don’t get me wrong here as there’s a time and a place for big artists like U2 to perform, but I personally think it’s not really U2’s place to be here singing about where streets have no names and flies and stuff, but wouldn’t you think more appropriate acts would have been more suitable? What about Kraftwerk? What about The Hoff? And, most appropriate of all, what about The Scorpions singing Wind of Change? Going back to Bono though, this silly little Psychedelic Leprechaun with his daft leather kex and half American half Irish accent really gets on my fucking nerves! (You might have guessed by now) His worst crime I think is without doubt his ongoing obsession to wear sun glasses in doors! Now, I’m not knocking sun glasses in general as I have a good pair myself as it’s always worth investing in a pretty decent pair, but the name of them (sun-glasses) kind of gives their actual function away a bit doesn’t it? If they were designed to be worn out of reach of the sun they would probably be called In-door glasses. I personally think the man’s most embarrassing ‘act’ was a few months back when U2 appeared on Jonathan Woss. Half way through ‘Sexy Boots’, Bono, the great showman he is, decided to jump into the ‘crowd’ (in a TV studio – hardly Wembley stadium now is it) and sprawl himself over the legs of … wait for it … a middle aged man weariung glasses and a jumper that looked like it was knitted by his ma’!! Now, don’t get me wrong here as I’m no pervert, but if your gonna do some sort of stunt involving members of the audience, don’t you think it would be a lot more pleasant (for both parties involved) if it was some attractive female who would appreciate Bono sprawling all over you? Fucking embarrassing if you ask me! Finally, something to think about the all-generous Bono for you: This is the same man who constantly bangs on to every world leader (who’ll begrudgingly have their photo taken with him, of course, personally I think Nelson Mandella is sick of the fucking sight of him to be honest) about poverty in poor countries and greedy capitalists raking in massive bonuses. So what does he do about it? That’s right, he decide to go and live in Holland to try and escape the British tax man. Greedy capitalist or Greedy rock star? We’ll be the judge of that, with or without you, Bono Mol