So Susan Boyle has joined the ranks of Amy Winehouse, Pete Doherty and Joaquin Phoenix as her long, drawn out merry-go-round finally comes to an abrupt end ... and gone right off her rocker! Let’s hope they have enough razors in the priory (to shave her eyebrows by the way, not to slash her wrists)
Seriously though, and I’m being honest here, without trying to sound like a heartless twat, I have very little sympathy for her as, if you remember here, it was she who applied to go on this show and she should be prepared to deal with (and expect) the consequences what ever they may be. There’s no doubting these programmes (X-Factor & Britain’s Got Talent) are the epitome of trash TV, but I disagree with the whole concept of talent shows like these in general as they only tend to lean towards (you could say exploit) people who they know are the underdogs or social outcasts as they know these scenarios will guarantee the pulling of the nation’s heart strings and boost their ratings off the scale. Britain’s got talent? Pah! Don’t make me fucking laugh! They should change the programme title to ‘Britain’s got Unscrupulous Manipulative Greedy Bastards Willing to Sell Their Souls at Any Price’. Or ‘Britain’s Got No Talent What so Ever, But We’ll Stay in Saturday Night to Watch it Anyway As There’s Fuck All on The Telly’
When I see examples of all the above people I can’t help but think are these people really cut out for success, fame & money? It seems, in particular Susan Boyle’s and Paul Potts’ (who does look like Javier Mascherano's brother by the way) cases as they are obviously a few hairs short of a full pubic set, they are sadly not! And I really don’t think the many thousands of people who queue around the block for days on end to get into X-Factor or BGT are truly prepared for what is about to greet them if they do make the ‘big time’. A visit from Max Clifford or Simon fucking Cowell is not going to help you in the slightest either so I wouldn’t bank on those vampires to take care of you unless you have some sort of sob story or learning difficulties to back it up with (Jade Goody, Peter Andre, Paul Potts, Susan Boyle, Shilpa Shethi, etc, etc), in fact, I wouldn’t trust them to take care of a three day old shit!
I was reading an interview the other day about musicians who left their bands at the height of their fame and it got me thinking about the recent events on BGT in the run up to Susan Boyle’s ‘breakdown’. The interview featured Paul ‘Bonehead’ Arthurs from Oasis and Russell Senior from Pulp. They all came out with many good points about their reasons to leave behind a life of riches and fame stemming from pressure and jealousy to drink and drugs and I must admit (having done it myself) it does take a lot of guts to leave a band and is not a decision taken quickly or lightly. You really have to think long and hard about it. When I left the band I was in I must admit I was pretty gutted, but I did have reasons and I will never ever regret doing it. Now, I’m not saying I was a world famous superstar, but I and my band mates did have plenty of time on the ‘circuit’ and we did become wise to the workings of certain music venues and unscrupulous ‘people’ involved in it and gained a level of ‘street-smartness’ that many of these people queuing up to sell their souls to Simon Cowell sadly do not possess
A few months back in the Observer Music Monthly, Paul Morley described Simon Cowell as the devil or the Anti-Christ (can’t really remember which) of music. He’s got a good point. Did anyone body watch the young girl on BGT last week when she fucked up her routine and she basically shit herself, but wanted to do it again and they wouldn’t let her? How fucking cruel can you get? Poor kid I thought was my initial reaction, but then again I thought what about her parents? Where were they when this child was being brought into line by this monster Cowell? Did they not think about protecting her from the evils of fame that obviously upset her so much that she broke down in tears the way she did? And why the fuck could they not at least wait until she is a bit more grown up before they shove her out to the spotlight of the nation and thrust instant fame upon her very young shoulders while she should be at home doing her homework instead of pinning all your hopes on the very small amount of talent you (think) your daughter has?
You know what that young girl’s scenario reminded me of?, pushy parents who convince their kids they’re the best in the world at singing, dancing, playing the guitar, playing footy, playing golf, etc, etc. when the simple fact is that they aren’t. The truth is these ‘parents’ (who I have nothing but pure hatred for by the way) want to fast track their kids ‘fame’ so they can make shit loads of cash from them. You only have to look at the most dysfunctional family of them all, The Jacksons, to realise that. They are so seriously fucked up that the entire psychiatrist industry has them to thank for keeping them in business all these years
The answer to all this is simple: no matter how much talent you think you or your kids may well possess, fame is not always for everyone and is almost certainly not for kids. Think about that before you look upon yourself or your child as the next big thing and make sure you have their and your own best interests at heart or that parent of the year award that Joe Jackson won so many years on the run or the BGT runners up trophy will not be gracing your mantle piece
Mol
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