Come Back, Baby Come Back!

So, The Icicle Works have announced a 30^th anniversary concert! What a crock of shit!

Has anyone else failed to notice that for a large chunk of the thirty years, The Icicle Works have NOT been together? Maybe they should have called it the 30^th Anniversary (with a bit if a gap in the middle because we split up as we hated each other quite a lot Tour)

Once again, as most of my readers will know, I hate all this money spinning bullshit about bands re-forming!

A few weeks back I was watching Sky Arts and they had a programme on about Duran Duran. They too were also celebrating their thirty-something years ‘together’.

But, during the inevitable boring arse-kissing interview afterwards they never once mentioned the stories about their fights and inevitable break up! And, as the whole subject of this Blog is about – the large gap they had in the wilderness not writing, playing or touring together was the main topic of the interview! All very nice and all very savvy (to guarantee people go to the gigs and buy the album no doubt?)

All they talked about was “getting back on the road” and taking their “great new songs” to their fans (that will never ever come close to the quality of their mid-eighties hits by the way). What they did talk about was the “good times” they had with their model girlfriends and other celebrity “friends”. How very fake!

So, why is it these bands call these comebacks anniversaries? It’s probably a bit along the lines of the culture we have in this country to simply re-name a thing that has become tedious and unsavoury.

The one band I used to have a lot of respect for was The Sex Pistols until they did their ‘reunion’ a few years back. Asked why they were doing it, John Lydon snarled “well we’re not doing it because we like each other, we don’t, and we actually hate each other! We’re only doing it for one thing - the money!” In a rather bizarre way I kind of I admired Lydon for saying that. He was hardly like Simon Le Bon Bon and his nice, sweet answers about his bezzy mates he shares a band with! Then again, the less said about Lydon and his Country Life Butter commercials ………

Recently, some of you may well know that I’ve re-joined the band with Stu, Mart and Ben. We have also recruited the services of a good mate of mine called Dr Mark Slade (who also does Gynaecology part-time)

Now, during our lengthy career together many years ago, we played well over one hundred gigs and released a good few half decent demos. You could say we had a pretty good acceptable slice of success for a band that was never signed to a record label. So, when we decided to get back together (albeit to sing cover versions as the slightly balding hairlines, grey hair and beer guts aren’t really appealing to many record labels these days) we didn’t call it a reunion or an anniversary! We just did it! Simple as that

So, why can’t these bands like Duran Duran and Icicle Works simply just announce that they’re getting back together instead of calling it a bleeding anniversary or a reunion? While their also at it maybe they could take a leaf out of John Lydon’s book and admit their real reasons for getting back together and tell us its simply for the money as to be brutally honest here: anniversaries are celebrations of certain events like weddings or birthdays.

I don’t think they should apply to bands getting back together

And finally the less said about a certain Dad Band from Manchester who has recently re-employed the services of a fat dancer the better!

Ch-ching!

Mol

The Re-Birth of the Independent Music Shops

Every now and again a little off-the-radar story pops up that makes you do one of the rather embarrassing actions involving a clenched fist with a scrunched up face followed by a “YES” – this is one of them stories

Independent Record Stores have sadly been on the decline over the last decade. This is mainly due to the rise of the rather ridiculously named Music Mega Store. The like of HMV and Virgin have basically monopolised high street music sales since the birth of (what I call) Uber Commerce. The Independent Record Shop hasn’t had a look in and many shops were forced to close … until now

I remember a few years ago many of you avid readers may remember a Blog I did about the smelly record stores of old in Liverpool from the likes of Probe to Hairy Records and my personal favourite The Vynal Frontier.

The good news is now they are back on the rise!

I loved these shops and most of all I loved the casual approach from the ‘staff’ who worked there. But most of all I loved their knowledge of music. You really could ask them anything and without searching the mega computer that many staff at Virgin or HMV had to rely on to see if a certain record was in stock they’d know off the top of their head!

I always thought how amazing it was to have such memory about music as it was clearly obvious they had been smoking copious amounts of weed whilst reading a copy of The Socialist Worker behind the counter for a good eight hours!

The article I was reading also had a superb quote from Spencer Hickman, founder of Rough Trade Records and the person behind UK Independent Record Store Day:

"People are waking up to the fact that all towns across the country are becoming identikit, and the small indie retailers are disappearing. They don't want this anymore and are finally saying 'No, enough is enough'."

Mr Hickman also came out with a quote that, again, made me feel very proud to be a listener or good music:

"People across the board are now fed up with the music coming from television shows

How ‘on the money’ he was with that quote! (After reading this it was when I did the clenched fist!)

I know there is still a hell of a long way to go for Independent Record Store as the industry (if you can call it that) has been badly damaged by the recession and of course the ever changing way people now ‘buy’ their music, but the (very) early signs really are good.

Green shoots are appearing and the possible re-birth of the small record shop is on the rise, but (and it’s a big but) they must also slightly change their ways if they are to remain in competition with ‘the big boys’ and get people back in through the door.

Another thing that also brought a smile to my face was the consumer research carried out by people who actually bought CD’s compared to the buying of random ‘hit’ songs. Again, as I previously Blogged about, this will once again promote the fruits of listening to a whole album instead of the ones that had a hit video to it!

Now I’m not saying the small Indie Music Shops should suddenly have to sell their souls to Lucifer and turn into corporate slags and greet customers with a cheesy smile followed by “how can I help you today?” and finish with “would you like one of our store cards? Ok, you have a nice day now”, but they will certainly have to innovate and re-engage with the public who will obviously be used to dealing with above plastic clones who know more about fake tans and thongs than Led Zep III and Creedence Clearwater Revival.

So, next time your out and about in town and your missus is in Primark buying a multi-pack of budgie smugglers for your uncle knobhead’s birthday, try your best to slope off for half an hour to your local Independent Music Shop, chat to the hippy shop assistant about the best of Sly Stone, have a friendly chat and a laugh …

… And skin up!

Mol

The Misguided Strokes of Genius

Pardon the pun, but whatever happened to The Strokes?

Cast your mind back ten years to 2001 when an album was released by an unknown New York band called The Strokes. The album was called ‘Is This It’ and it has to be said – was one of the finest debuts I’ve ever heard. I still listen to it today as it’s still that good

The Strokes had it all, good looks, celebrity girlfriends, style and most of all – they could play! They could really play! The chord structure alone on their songs were superb (I should know as we cover a version of ‘Last Nite’)

Is This It created a new wave of cool across the music world and everyone wanted a piece of The Strokes. Sad thing, they did! Implosion (probably caused by drugs, alcohol and other excesses that go with the rock star life style that they became so fond of) happened and the sad, predictable spiral out of control came like a bolt!

Now, take the clock forward from 2001 ten years and another three albums later to 2011 and The Strokes have released ‘Angels’, and it has to be said here, it’s a pretty tame effort

But, The Strokes have done what they have done with all three albums that have followed ‘Is This It’ with ‘Room on Fire’, ‘First Impressions of Earth’ and ‘Angels’ – they have released a killer single before releasing a pretty drab album.

Take Whatever Happened off Room on Fire, You Only Live Once off First Impressions of Earth and, the latest song Under cover of Darkness off Angels -= they are all very very impressive songs!

Maybe it’s a marketing ploy (as I have previously Blogged about) by were their management have pushed them for one superb single, release that, wet the appetites of their adoring public, guarantee pre-orders into the millions and release a shit album.

All of this equals one thing of course = money in the bank followed by a tour that contains a selection of their earlier (better) hits to appease their fans at their gigs.

To be honest, this really does (if it’s true or course) disappoint me as, without making them appear like Nobel Peace Prize nominees here, I thought The Strokes possess integrity and intellect and most of all – they cared about what they released

Seems I’m wrong as the evidence is in the selection of album fillers the band have released since Is This It

A quite appropriately named album if there ever was such a thing

Mol

Birds Might Fly but the Cameras Never Lie

Been listening to a lot of Jefferson Airplane this week just for a bit of a change and one thing really struck me about them – the female singer in the band Grace Slick has got one of the most outstanding voices I’ve ever had the pleasure to hear!

So, in comparison to a lot of today’s female offerings, it got me thinking: what makes a decent female vocalist?

Much has been documented lately with regards to the female vocalist from this country and beyond. To be perfectly honest, if you put them all together in a room and got them to sing the same song, I really don’t think you could tell the difference between them! That also goes for the subject of most their songs as well (it’s usually about some sort of marriage break up or broken heart), and if you think about it, it’s pretty fucking pathetic!

Take my mate the lovely Cheryl “Ah luv ye” Cole for example. England’s New Queen of Hearts (replacing Diana) has made a career out of being seen as ‘the victim’ after her rather pathetic and damn right embarrassing marriage to a certain footballer (who earns way in excess of one hundred grand a week might i add)

Now a days female vocalists have several pampered fingers in several pies including TV work, fashion advertising and of course reality TV programmes! Add to that their ability to play on the heart strings of the nation by ‘exposing’ their insecurities and vulnerabilities equals, in my opinion, a pretty sad and pathetic money making machine that sadly a lot of people believe! You only have to watch an episode of Piers Morgan’s (fake) Life Stories for example!

Other things that really gets my back up (and I’m gonna be pretty controversial here) are female vocalists who ‘play’ on their illness. Cheryl Cole’s Malaria aside here take Kylie Minogue’s Cancer scare for example. Now, don’t get me wrong here as I’m not being horrible, but the amount of sympathy that flooded in for the Little Aussie was pretty un-needed in my opinion as I’m sure she has the rather perfect amount of money to obtain the best cancer treatment money can buy! Compare that to the thousands of people living in a working class city in the north of England who can’t afford the same health care Ms Minogue had and the difference is amazing! The level of sympathy is also amazing if you think about it!

And, seeing as I’m in full moaning mode here, why do so many female vocalists these days insist on marrying or going out with someone who is also famous?

Why can’t the likes of Katy Perry or Beyoncè Knowles seek the affections of a normal run of the mill chap of working class creed? Be great wouldn’t it? Imagine turning up for a bevy in The Crofters on Saturday night with say Katy Perry or Pixie Lott and bragging that your gonna be ‘hangin’ out of their arse’ when you get home? A visit to The Gold Star would be swiftly jibbed off for the quickest taxi in Huyton!

Now, if you compare most of the above to the likes of Grace Slick from Jefferson Airplane, Janis Joplin and, to a certain extent, Tina Turner. These were strong women who would command their audience and make them sit up, take note, and listen to what they had to sing about instead of people reading about it in OK or Hello magazine!

In other words – they concentrated and focused on one thing and one thing only = being a singer! Not being famous or selling their story to some Red Top or celebrity gossip magazine just so they could squeeze and extra million into their already over-stuffed bank account!

Now I’m not saying all female vocalists should suddenly turn into alcoholic drug addicts with a tendency for under arm hair that would put a Russian Javelin thrower to shame, but I think a small slice of in-decency and a small dose of ‘the street’ is actually quite attractive in a woman and shows they actually care more about what music they release instead of how they look!

As for that rather important point of most of them to actually possess the ability to sing – that’s a totally different matter as it’s certainly not gonna happen in my lifetime anyway!

Prepare the world for a lifetime of Female Vocal Monotony!

Mol

Rockin’ all Over the World

I’ve just been reading an article about the Russian Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev and his love for British Rock Music such as Deep Purple, Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin.

And it got me thinking about that rather embarrassing and damn right scary prospect of this rather powerful head of state prancing around the Kremlin doing air guitar with one hand on ‘the button’ whilst listening to “War Pigs”. I don’t know about you, but even worse than Ozzy singing it, the thought of Medvedev singing it petrifies me!

So, with that rather disturbing thought stuck in your heads, I was thinking about other Heads of State and appropriate songs that they could be given in honour of the sterling work they do to keep the world turning in the right direction

First up you could assign Iran’s Beardy Mahmoud Ahmadinejad with his country’s (alleged) secret nuclear programme – Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Apart From Me and My Monkey by The Beatles

Libya’s Ned Murphy Look-a-like Colonel Gaddafi could have WAR by The Average White Band or We Gotta Get Out of This Place by Animals is also quite appropriate. Bang and Blame by REM is also pretty well suited to the strange Colonel

Seeing as Barack Obama is permanently in the spotlight as the most powerful man in the world (yawn), he understandably has a rather large selection of tracks given to him. Keep on Running – The Spencer Davis Group due to the ‘sitting duck’ status he currently possess, but best of all for our ‘friend’ across the pond would have to be Born in the USA by Springsteen. Controversially “?” following USA of course

North Korea’s Kim Jong Ill could have Go West by the Pet Shop Boys. Then again, maybe that is the deep craving of the population he rules over. Who knows? Then again, Rocking in the Free World by Neil Young is also quite appropriate for the short-crust despot

Good old Silvio Berlusconi from Italy could also have a multitude of sleazy songs given to the Brylcreem boy from Milan. Most perfect of all could be Girls Talk by Dave Edmunds. Then again, Fight for your Right to (have an under-age) Party by The Beastie Boys would be right up his street (if you pardon the expression). And, courtesy of Mr S Pugh from The Dogs – It Wasn’t Me by Shaggy for the over-tanned Italian Stallion

The pint-sized Nicholas Sarkozy of France with his rather glamorous model wife/girlfriend could have Never Tear us Apart by INXS. Then again, Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division could be the end game of his political career judging by the way the French are currently voting! (The French don’t like their politicians to be seen as celebrities – unlike the UK)

And finally we have ‘Our’ Dave Cameron and his cabinet of millionaires. Very tough one this I thought as what is really on my mind could well result in some sort of libel action against your truly, so I’ve decided the most perfect song would have to be The Long and Winding Road by The Beatles.

Then again, this is mainly directed and dedicated to the long suffering people of the UK as this is the path most of us (without money, wealth and privilege of course) will be on for at least the next four years of Tory rule.

Then again, Road to Nowhere by Talking Heads

Anyone?

Sing up Dave, “well we know where were goin‘ ..........

Mol

The Needle and the Damage Done

Just been reading the rather tragic story of Bass Player Mike Starr from ‘Nine Inch Nails’ who recently died of a heroin overdose, I’m sure most of you are thinking “who?”, and you’d be right to think that as he was hardly a household name! Still, never mind eh.

The article went onto to describe/explain the tragedy behind Grunge music and its affect on its ‘famous deaths’. To be brutally honest with you – I thought it was a crop of shit as no matter what genre of music – there will always be fatalities, but the only thing that differs is the way the person dies!

Hip Hop/Rap music has always long been associated with gun crime compared to the rather reckless self debauched hedonistic lifestyles of certain rock musicians. So, it’s pretty un-fair to singe out Grunge for being associated with a couple of ‘wrongn’s’

So, why does/did Grunge attract so much negative press, doom and gloom and damn right miserable bastards? The simple answer may well be the way the main ‘stars’ of the Grunge scene acted, but the main, more honest explanation may well be Heroin! It was the true dark cloud that followed Grunge around!

Heroin was pretty rife in young Grunge musicians of the late eighties and early nineties. It was born of frustration after Reagan introduced a new welfare to work reform in the USA (in short, if you had no job, you got NO financial help). Now if you add into the mix disaffected young men and women with nowhere to go and nothing to do except sit in your bed sit all day, the music that will follow will hardly be ‘Shiny Happy Fucking People’ will it?

With regards to Grunge in general, I personally I think the Grunge ‘style’ (ripped jeans, t-shirt worn underneath chequered shirt, greasy hair and loads of acne) was an image tool much like the Glam Rock Style of the early seventies and New Romantic style of the mid eighties. Obviously not the same but an instant association with that genre of music no doubt.

Now, I’m not applauding the use of heroin in any way here, but have you noticed that the one, sad thing missing from mainstream pop these days IS heroin! A good few high profile deaths instead of the odd underground musician popping his clogs would also be very welcome news (I think you can probably guess who I’m thinking of the police finding dead in a bathtub with a syringe hanging out of their cocks would definitely raise a smile from me!)

But to be honest here and ‘fight the corner’ of heroin, music over the years DID sound better when played under the influence of hard drugs such as scagg. Take Gram Parsons, Keith Richards, Janis Joplin, and Lou Reed for examples. They’re music was great when they were on the gear, but, sadly not so great when they were straight! Sad, but you really can’t compensate for true creative inspiration! If you don’t believe me, have a trawl through the afore mentioned back-catalogues and you’ll see what I mean!

(Also see title of Black Grape’s debut for sarcastic take on this subject by the way)

But, in all seriousness, music aside for one minute, you really can’t compensate for an early grave can you?

Live fast die young?

The legend should go: Live fast (Take smack, make sweet music), die young more like!

Mol

Street Fighting Man Takes on the Cuddly Fan

Has anyone ever noticed something about today’s music = There no confrontation! There’s no controversy! And, most important of all = there’s no swearing! Hahaha, nah didn’t mean the bit about swearing!

But I do believe that maybe the fact that society is so controlled and ‘safe’ these days is down to the fact that music is so nice, cuddly and, well, safe!

During the seventies and eighties there were bands around like The Sex Pistols, The Clash and (don’t laugh here) Frankie Goes to Hollywood!

Frankie Goes to Hollywood, for me, perfectly summed up the times in two of the best songs of the eighties.

Two Tribes, although the video was based on a mock-scrap between Ronald Reagan and Mickael Gorbachov, was no doubt quietly attributed to the Miners strike that (supposedly) threatened to bring the country to a halt. The lyrics sum it up brilliantly “ship it out-out! Working for the black gas”

Another great line from Two Tribes is the bit just before the end when Holly Johnson says (in what I can only assume to be a moment of impromptu controversy) “Are we living in a land where sex and horror are the new Gods”. This is yet another example of how FGTH gained the rightly reputation on how to shock the audience! You can almost imagine Mary Whitehouse and the rest of the Tory cabinet ministers choking on their Pimms can’t you?

As for Relax, this was obviously a controversial take on how to avoid (or indeed contract) the AIDS virus! Cutting edge stuff with not a single “I love you” or “I wanna be with you forever and ever and” in sight! “Relax! Don’t do it! When you wanna suck to it”. You could say they could have been offering advice for people to have oral sex instead of the more dangerous gay sex that was mainly associated with homosexuality at the time (a public advice message and a superb pop song all mixed into one I supposed you could say)

Now, I’m not gonna bang on about FGTH all day here, but I do firmly believe that popular culture these days has, sadly, become obsessed with fashion, celebrity, money and most of all: image! The days of Sid Vicious and other reputable rapscallions sneering into a camera and swearing on telly are sadly thrown into the rubbish bin of music history! And the chances of a top ten song about war or AIDS are pretty much zero! In other words = popular culture would simply find it far too offensive and not ‘sexy’ enough that does not define a product that could sell!

In short – no one has the balls to ‘stand up to the man’ anymore in case they come across as being nasty and horrible in the eyes of the all powerful press! A certain matter of incurring the wrath of the music executives who run the labels they work for is also a defining attribute in keeping their nice cuddly pop stars in check and on the never ending path to financial glory! (Which is what they all seek, no doubt)

So, is it any wonder that the public have kept a ‘lid on things’ during this current government’s current slash and burn policy towards the public sector? The comparisons with the 80’s and 70’s are almost mirror-like! Take the rise of capitalism and bankers under the tenure of Thatcher and, as I’ve mentioned, her brutal approach towards the miners! You could say Cameron and his cronies are doing the same thing today if you think about it.

Thankfully, for them, they have the likes of Take That, Will Young, JLS (Just Lousy Singers) and Snore Patrol to deal with compared to the likes of The Sex Pistols and The Clash that Thatcher was up against. Maybe that’s why people (and the miners) attacked the powers that be compared to our pathetic approach these days. They had the belief and attitude of these radical bands standing with them in their hour of need! No chance of that today!

So, do we need a ‘saviour’ of The Left in the style of a modern day Billy Bragg or Joe Strummer? I think we do as the truth is this about modern pop culture – it’s fucking boring as hell!!! And the small matter of true role models to inspire and support the disaffected youth of today is just as important!

Rocks and stones we’re thrown then, but now if someone gets angry, they’ll write a rather irate letter to the Daily Mail and brag about it in Twitter!

And on a final note, I would also be very interesting to know what people in Libya, Egypt and Tunisia have been listening to lately?

Somehow I don’t think Its JLS

Mol