Been listening to a lot of Jefferson Airplane this week just for a bit of a change and one thing really struck me about them – the female singer in the band Grace Slick has got one of the most outstanding voices I’ve ever had the pleasure to hear!
So, in comparison to a lot of today’s female offerings, it got me thinking: what makes a decent female vocalist?
Much has been documented lately with regards to the female vocalist from this country and beyond. To be perfectly honest, if you put them all together in a room and got them to sing the same song, I really don’t think you could tell the difference between them! That also goes for the subject of most their songs as well (it’s usually about some sort of marriage break up or broken heart), and if you think about it, it’s pretty fucking pathetic!
Take my mate the lovely Cheryl “Ah luv ye” Cole for example. England’s New Queen of Hearts (replacing Diana) has made a career out of being seen as ‘the victim’ after her rather pathetic and damn right embarrassing marriage to a certain footballer (who earns way in excess of one hundred grand a week might i add)
Now a days female vocalists have several pampered fingers in several pies including TV work, fashion advertising and of course reality TV programmes! Add to that their ability to play on the heart strings of the nation by ‘exposing’ their insecurities and vulnerabilities equals, in my opinion, a pretty sad and pathetic money making machine that sadly a lot of people believe! You only have to watch an episode of Piers Morgan’s (fake) Life Stories for example!
Other things that really gets my back up (and I’m gonna be pretty controversial here) are female vocalists who ‘play’ on their illness. Cheryl Cole’s Malaria aside here take Kylie Minogue’s Cancer scare for example. Now, don’t get me wrong here as I’m not being horrible, but the amount of sympathy that flooded in for the Little Aussie was pretty un-needed in my opinion as I’m sure she has the rather perfect amount of money to obtain the best cancer treatment money can buy! Compare that to the thousands of people living in a working class city in the north of
And, seeing as I’m in full moaning mode here, why do so many female vocalists these days insist on marrying or going out with someone who is also famous?
Why can’t the likes of Katy Perry or Beyoncè Knowles seek the affections of a normal run of the mill chap of working class creed? Be great wouldn’t it? Imagine turning up for a bevy in The Crofters on Saturday night with say Katy Perry or Pixie Lott and bragging that your gonna be ‘hangin’ out of their arse’ when you get home? A visit to The Gold Star would be swiftly jibbed off for the quickest taxi in Huyton!
Now, if you compare most of the above to the likes of Grace Slick from Jefferson Airplane, Janis Joplin and, to a certain extent, Tina Turner. These were strong women who would command their audience and make them sit up, take note, and listen to what they had to sing about instead of people reading about it in OK or Hello magazine!
In other words – they concentrated and focused on one thing and one thing only = being a singer! Not being famous or selling their story to some Red Top or celebrity gossip magazine just so they could squeeze and extra million into their already over-stuffed bank account!
Now I’m not saying all female vocalists should suddenly turn into alcoholic drug addicts with a tendency for under arm hair that would put a Russian Javelin thrower to shame, but I think a small slice of in-decency and a small dose of ‘the street’ is actually quite attractive in a woman and shows they actually care more about what music they release instead of how they look!
As for that rather important point of most of them to actually possess the ability to sing – that’s a totally different matter as it’s certainly not gonna happen in my lifetime anyway!
Prepare the world for a lifetime of Female Vocal Monotony!
Mol
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