Lives in a house, very big house, in the country

Jesus Christ! How the fuck did we get to this pretty ashamed stage were rock stars become so god awfully boring???

I’ve just finished reading (wasting a good twenty minutes of my life) an article interviewing Brain May of Queen. I’ve never really been a big fan of Queen, but I’m always willing to read any article interviewing rock’s ‘aristocracy’ and in typical true form I realised one thing – he is a true boring rock dinosaur!

I also had a read of his Blog that was mentioned in the interview boringly titled Brian’s Soapbox. In it he has a moan (as we all do) not about his dodgy Barnet or Freddie Mercury’s death, but astrology, the weather and fox and badger hunting! Fucking badger hunting! Hahaha, Jesus Christ!

Gone are the days of chasing dwarfs carrying tray loads of cocaine at Queen after show parties and landing at concerts in elaborate helicopters! These days it’s more important for him to study the stars and fret over the lack of rain his much cherished lawn isn’t receiving let alone the amount of fucking badgers there are being killed! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn!

So, what is it that suddenly turns these once lunatics into serious drab bastards? Personally I don’t know the answer as 1. I don’t know any aging rock stars and 2. I’ve never been one, but I suspect it has something to do with age.

Another example of boring rock stars has to be awarded to Chris Martin of Coldplay! This is the guy who epitomises the ‘nice guy’ of music. A true dullard! I may have mentioned this before, but does anyone actually know why this boring man actually puts different coloured tape around his fingers? Are they to remind him what bins to put out in the morning or what vegetable diet his kids are having the next day?

I remember when rock stars used to be feared creatures who wouldn’t think twice about booting a new born kitten down the stairs or throw half of South America up their noses and do the same the next day (if they could find a kitten, or course). Sadly the corporate, squeaky clean pop stars of today have taken over and it’s almost become acceptable to be a nice young chap your mum would be glad you brought home for tea! The kind of tit who spends six weeks in Simon Cowell’s (tax free) chateau learning how to sing (when he’s not tampering with their voice – allegedly)

Now, compare these ‘pussy cats’ to someone like the legendary GG Allin for example. Here was probably the biggest lunatic in music who had many songs such as Suck My Ass It Smells and I Wanna Piss On You. He used to beat his own head so much with his microphone that he used to bleed a hell of a lot. He also used to fight with the fans at his gigs and also take a shit on stage and then pick it up and throw it at them! Hahahaha

Now, I’m not asking the likes of Brian may or Chris Martin to suddenly start throwing their own shit around the O2 Arena all of a sudden, but it would be nice for them to stop being, well, so nice!

Don’t grow up chaps

Mol

Filter Distortion - A Shameless Plug

A few years back a group of rather splendid chaps I know formed a band and called themselves Deconstructors

After becoming involved with them (not in a ‘physical’ way might I add) for a good time they morphed into one of Liverpool’s finest un-signed and formidable bands.

After a change in personnel they have now changed their name to Filter Distortion.

Now I know this is a shameless plug, but it has to be said here: I don’t give a fuck as they are of course, good friends and a truly stunning band and (a lot better than some of the 80’s rip offs doing the rounds today)

So, give Filter Distortion a listen and do your ears a favour

Nice one

Mol

The Death of Rock Music ... Doubt It Mate

It’s amazing the amount of utter fucking shit some people spout these days isn’t it?

I’ve just been reading a rather disturbing article about Rock Music ... or the lack of Rock Music in the charts. Personally, I really don’t see what all the fuss is about!

Historically Rock Music has never really been ‘chart fodder’ as it has always firmly had its roots embedded into working class culture as most rock bands tend to shun the ‘glamour’ and ‘shit’ that comes with the singles charts and pop music culture in general.

This was mainly evident in the likes of Led Zeppelin. During the decade they ruled the planet they never once released a single in the UK – a rarity for its time and something that certainly changed the way rock acts ‘carried out they’re businesses. If there was ever a more striking example that Rock Music doesn’t need the singles chart – that was it!

Rock Music always has been and will continue to be very close to my heart. It’s a bit like that distant relative that no one else in your family likes apart from yourself. I’m not saying it wears annoyingly tanned slip on shoes and wears dodgy aftershave, but it can sometimes be cheesy and also cheer you up and make your day. In other words – it doesn’t take itself too seriously

But, as is many of the world’s problems, I personally I believe ‘the death’ of rock music (as the intrepid reporter liked to call it) is down to our dear cousins across the pond and what they did to it. Take the likes of Motley Crue, Kiss, Poison and Alice Cooper as examples. They dressed it up in lipstick, eye liner, foundation and other forms of glamorous shit that many people across the Atlantic seen as nothing more than a joke! I know I did! If they hadn’t had got their hands on it maybe it would have been a different story. If you don’t believe me – take a look at that utterly ridiculous Steel Panther. I’ll guarantee you’ll squirm in your boots!

But, with regards the future of Rock Music, there is one basic point here that the many people queuing up to condemn it to the rubbish pile of music history have missed – the people who listen to rock music really don’t give a flying fuck if they’re favourite album has sold the same amount of albums as Alexander Burke, Take That, Fucking Jed wood or any other manufactured teeny boppers! They actually see that as a form of disrespect towards the music they love dearly.

People who listen to pop music can go and fuck themselves with their glamour and money for all I care as rock music is made by the people for the people

That, quite simply, is the way of things

Long live rock, be it in the charts or out!

Mol

Groping The Limelight?

I’ve just finished reading a rather ridiculous article about the lack of women ‘in Indie’ and the constant groping that goes on at some of the concerts.

The woman writing the article went on to say that it was only women who get ‘groped’ when they crowd surf. I really don’t see this woman’s beef here as if you throw into the mix = loud music, dark lighting, lots of beer and a shit load of pissed blokes (and women) they’re hardly going to throw their jacket on the floor to save the girl being carried aloft from being molested in any kind of way now are they?

The way I see it, attending gigs is an opportunity to break the daily monotony of work and shit weather so people tend to throw their inhibitions aside at events like gigs. So if a young woman (probably dressed in rather revealing clothing) is stupid enough to do a spot of crowd surfing in what is historically a male-dominated environment it serves her right if some burly, drunken chap decides to stick his middle finger up her hoop while his mates watch on in fits of laughter

As for the female axe grinding that continued, the person writing went onto ‘moan’ about the lack of women in Indie bands. A controversial point, maybe, but maybe this want to be feminist hadn’t heard of The White Stripes, The Ting Tings, The Pixies, the Breeders, Arcade Fire, Lush, Elastica and The Kills. There’s a pretty strong contingent of females in that rather impressive list of Indie bands wouldn’t you say Mrs?

So, I know I’m being a little bit daft here, but women like this really do get on my Moobs with their constant rabble sometimes. So while we’re on the subject of mouthy bra-burning feminists, I’d like to point out the lack of men in bands like Girls Aloud, the Saturdays, The Pussy Cats Dolls and Take That!

Seems only fair that I grind my axe (wound) wouldn’t you agree?

As for being groped at any of their concerts – I may as well spend the night in The Lisbon! I’d definitely get me arse grabbed there with a reach-a-round thrown in for good measure

Mol