Take Splatt! Ch-Ching

Stop the world, evacuate your towns and prepare yourselves for some really bad new … Robbie is back!

Yes, that’s right people, what every woman in Britain aged forty to fourteen has been waiting for: Take Splatt have fully re-formed! You can almost feel the dampness on the undergarments and the sudden over-excited piss-stains appearing in their jeans already!

Before I continue with what you will probably already predict from my newly sharpened mouse, I’d like to thank my wonderful sister for adding me to the Take Splat mailing list in the early nineties. The postcards in the hall were a particular embarrassment when my mates knocked round. Cheers for that luv! Haha

So, Robbie, Mark, Jason, Gary and that gimp who sounds like he’s sucking on a piece of tree bark have decided to make themselves whole again. Interesting that they have cited their reasons for getting it on again as purely professional and “for the great songs they have stored up”. Hahahahaha, don’t make me fucking laugh

There is one reason and one reason only they have re-formed and it’s as plain as the big gay nose on the end of their big gay faces – money!

Anyone who is taken in by this bullshit these five blerts have come out with about it being “about the music” needs to go and have their craniums examined and book themselves in for a full lobotomy!

The only negotiations they have been sorting out before they announced their news is how much they can get in endorsements from the likes of Pepsi, Sky and any other gang of corporate wankers willing to pay them far too much money for their services!

Take Splatt are nothing short of media whore corporate slags who are willing to sell their souls to the devil in return for fame and fortune. If you don’t believe me do a quick Google search of Robbie Williams last record deal and then have a listen to the SHIT he released in return!

You will be truly shocked

Take that … and FUCK OFF!!!

Mol