Mick & Keef Shine a Light to Un-Earth a Couple of Hot Rocks

This week I will be mostly wearing a fucking bit grin on my face the size of Cheryl Cole’s e-mail to Max Clifford People! Please do not adjust your set as this is Mol’s Sound Words and not one of Jessie’s Fashion Tips Anyway, the reason for my new found joy is Mick & Keef have been rummaging through their archives like ferocious Beavers and found four undiscovered songs that should have appeared on the greatest album ever made: The Stones’ 1972 classic, Exile on Main Street. Needless to say I’m as excited as a Little Red Rooster during mating season! The four tracks they found are called: Plundered My Soul, Dancing in the Light, Following the River and Pass the Win and I really can’t wait to hear them not just because they are Stones’ songs, but because they were recorded during a time when they were without question of a doubt the greatest rock n’ roll band in the world. This also coincides with a new documentary about the making of ‘Stones in Exile’ which, in my opinion, is way overdue. It’s due for release in the middle of May 2010 Now I’m not always a big fan of re-issues and these kind of ‘discoveries’, but in this instance (obviously) I’m over the fucking moon So, people. Do your self a favour, if you don’t own ‘Exile’ get out there and buy a copy. And please, watch the film when it comes out as well. You’ll thank me for it one day Mol

Rock Biopics = Yawn!!!

Just been reading about a new film coming out next month about John Lennon’s life towards the end of his career in The Beatles. As soon as I read the write up on it I thought “not another cheesy rock-biopics!” looks like I’m not gonna be disappointed either! If its not clichés galore like trashing hotels and failed romances with groupies, it’s predictable storylines about rags to riches and hit songs done in one take! Boring boring utterly fucking boring! I remember going to see the debut of The Doors in the early nineties at the multi plex pictures in Croxteth (that’s the nice part of Liverpool in case you didn’t know). It has to be the one and only time I’ve seen police inside there due to the amount of pot heads skinning up. The film, although full of the afore mentioned clichés, didn’t fail to impress as Oliver Stone made one of the best rock biopics I’ve personally seen. A rarity in the film world! But there has been some utter shit! Anyone ever seen the, not one, but two films about The Beach Boys? Fuck me, that is one seriously shit film!!! I know The Beach Boys had a few albums out and did generally do a hell of a lot of touring during their lengthy careers, but to fit it all into two 2 and a half hour feature length films is bordering on the ridiculous and seriously taking the fucking piss!! The worse part of the film though is the bit when Dennis Wilson is introduced to Charles Manson. They guy who plays Manson looks like Happy Gilmore’s Caddy. You’ve gotta watch it just for that as absolutely you’ll laugh your fucking arse off Other notable shit music films include the rather cringe worthy ‘Almost Famous’. It’s like a combination of all male bravado rock star chaps and nicey nicey fluffy bunny-like birds all mixing together as a band try to break into superstardom from the dole drums of rock obscurity. It also contains the obvious rock myths that all bands sing together on the tour bus, band members taking drugs and the ever present story line of a band about to break up due to some sort of jaaag fight! No pun here, but you’d think any director taking up this kind of challenge would change the fucking record wouldn’t ye? As regards the whole concept of rock biopics, I personally think they are boring for the main reason musicians are boring! Can you imagine going the pictures and watching three hours worth of (say for example) The Story of Take That? Or three hours of Girls Aloud? I wouldn’t know what was the truth was and what was fiction as a lot of these pop stars have censorship orders signed into their contracts in order to protect their squeaky clean image. Now what would be a good idea is to make an un-official version following the release of the official version. Mark Owen could be a crack dealer with a serious habit of shit flavoured sherbet products and Howard (the gimp with the lisp) could have an obsession with arse-less chaps and nipple tassels!! And a twist in the tale to the Girls Aloud Story would be that Cheryl Cole ends up getting dumped by her husband as she discovers he has a habit of shoving mobile phones up his arse!! You just couldn’t write it could ye? Mol

The Brits: Come Mime With Me

As many of my readers know, I mainly have a three-pronged attack since I starting writing my Blog. The first is X Factor, the second the lovable Razorshite and the third is The Brits. This week, the latter didn’t let me down! The first thing that got to me about this year Shit Awards is that the show was basically dominated by Americans in the shape of Lady (Gentleman) Ga Ga and Jay Z. Now, don’t get me wrong here, they are both pretty good at what they do and of course as we all know, terrific entertainers. They were also pretty good on the night. But why have a British Award ceremony dominated by American Artists? You wouldn’t se the same thing happen at The Grammies would you? The Shits are supposed to be a celebration of all things to do with British music. This year was also supposed to be a bout 30 years of British music. What better way to celebrate it by letting all the headlines taken by two Americans. So, what does the British contingent of the night’s entertainment have to offer? Well, we have Robbie ‘Past It’ Williams singing his usually medley of shit and drivel while he pulls them ridiculously punch able faces into every camera he can spot and the marvellous, wait for it … Cheryl ‘Ah Love Ye’ Cole! Is it just me or does Cheryl Cole ignite the inner demon in your soul and fill you with enough rage to explode a small planet? And to make matters worse, she fucking mimed!!!!! But, wait a minute chaps, this was no ordinary miming. Cole is very clever at deceiving the public as she rather cleverly sang the first few bars of her ‘performance’, the rest, she mimed. This gives the idea that she did actually sing. Maybe she should think about renaming her best known song to ‘Mine, Mine, Mine’? Either that or just simply fuck off the face of the earth instead? I’d much prefer the latter. If she does, I’d also love it if she took her husband with her. Let’s just hope they have a good mobile phone reception where ever they go eh? Secondly we come to JLS. A few people I work with have often wondered what JLS actually stands for. Jesus Loves Sex? Justifiably Lynched Singers? Or, the main favourite: Just Lousy Singers? Anyway, JLS seem to have found a new ‘inner rock star’ after Liam Gallagher’s stunning show of madness at The Shit Awards (more on that later). Anyway, I was listening to an interview with JLS on the morning after The Shits and one of them in a rather frenzied state of over excited ness went on to say “in all the excitement, I decided to break one of the chairs, I can’t wait to see the footage of that” (they then all went on to giggle like young girls walking around Liverpool One). Well fuck me, Keith Moon will be shaking in his pit at the possibility of someone taking over from his hell raising mantle!! Who ever said rock n roll was dead should thank god for JLS that it’s not. Party on, Garth Thirdly, Peter Kay is about as funny as washing your shells in a sink full of acid Fourthly I’d just like to mention Kasabian. Kasabian are always the band who turn up at The Shits that no one else wants to be seen having their photo taken with as they’re a bit ‘rag tag and bob tail’, a bit ‘urchin-like’, a bit ‘outlandish’ (I think you get the picture). So, I have a question for the lads from the Black Country: why were you so happy to receive an award (best British Group) when The Shits is the exact establishment they have been so against in the past? Why the sudden ‘sucking up to the man’? It’s amazing how quick people can sell out as soon as someone waves a piece of metal stuck onto a piece of wood under their noses that’s guaranteed a few extra thousand sales at the tills isn’t it? I’ve personally lost a bit of respect for them after the other night. As for Tom Meighan’s impression of a flying trapeze artist, that deserved an award itself! Quality, that lad Finally we come to the main even of the evening: Liam ‘Pantomime Horse’ Gallagher!! Hahaha, I’m still laughing at it now about it to be honest. Would anyone like to take a guess at who he was actually aiming the award at? It couldn’t have been Noel as he wasn’t there (probably in bed with a cup of hot milk). Lady Ga Ga? Nah, it would have just bounced off her outfit. Robbie Williams/ Nah, it would have bounced off his ego. Roll on next year for: Liam Gallagher; Outstanding Nutcase Award presented by a certain R Willaims from Stoke and then thrown at a certain C Cole from Newcastle’s head? I really can’t wait for that! Mol

All Together Now

What’s the most important (and enjoyable) part of a song? The music? The band? The Lyrics? Nope. All wrong I’m afraid. The answer, my dear readers is the good old fashioned chorus I was walking to work the other day and decided to check out the media player facilities on my new phone. As I walked past the hoards of little wastes of sperm who attend the local school by my house I was listening to, amongst others: ‘Jessie’s Girl’ by Rick Springfield and ‘Losing Touch’ by The Killers. And, as what always happens here, I was caught ‘singing’ by a rather startled un-suspecting member of the public! Poor bastard (Good job he wasn’t trimming his back bush eh? - haha) Anyway, after subjecting several more members of the public to my god awful singing on my trek to work, I realised that the afore mentioned Killers song has one of the most outstanding choruses I’ve ever heard in years. And it got me thinking: what is the best chorus ever written? So, as I always do when I’ve fuck all else to write about, I decided to compile a bit of a list Here’s a few of my choices: Jumping Jack Flash – The Rolling Stones: “but it’s aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwlriiiiiiiiight now, in fact it’s a gaaaaasss, but it’s aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwlriiiiiiiight, I’m jumpin jack flash it’s a gas! Gas! Gas!” Great song that also contains one of the finest opening lines in any song ever written: “I was born in a cross fire hurricane” – superb stuff. This was also the turning moment when The Stones switched from mainstream pop to the more ‘darker’ side of their famed persona. Notoriety beckoned! Paradise City – Guns ‘N Roses: “take me down to the Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty” Classic example of the all-American bravado the chaps from G’N’R portrayed in their stage shows (although, may I point out, the video for this song was filmed during their warm up act for Aerosmith). Good example of an ‘all together now’ chorus The Rat – The Walkmen. “youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu’ve got a nerve to be asking a favour/youuuuuuuuuuuuu’ve got a nerve to be calling my number” This is hardly a ‘chorus’, but it’s worth a shout due to the pure spine-tingling way the song is actually sung by the fantastic Front Man of The Walkmen: Hamilton Leithhauser. Superb bit of drumming as well. But, as great as all of the above songs really are, there is really no contest. This is obviously a personal point of view of mine here, but the finest chorus ever written has to be without a single shadow of a doubt: Highway to Hell by the Great, Monolithic AC/DC So … “Hey mamma, look at me, I’m on my way to the promise land, WOW!! … … I’M ON THE HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHWAY TO HELL!!!!!!!” Get it listened to Mol

For Pete's Sake!!!

About five years ago a band from London shot onto the music scene with all the outlaw images and iconic camaraderie Keith Richards would be proud of. That band was The Libertines. Like Blur ten years earlier they were concerned about our American cousins (The Strokes, White Stripes, Kings of Leon, The Killers, etc, etc) coming over here and ‘taking our jobs’ – if you know what I mean? The Libertines gave it a good stab and released one of the finest albums of the decade in ‘Up the Bracket’. Since then, it’s all gone a bit tits-up for the most famous Libertine of them all: the much troubled Pete Doherty I was reading a rather interesting article about Peter (as he likes to be knows as now) the other day. The man really has got nine lives Doherty is a rather colourful character that has basically got away with more convictions (22 times he’s been ‘let off’ from court appearances by the way of paying a measly fine) is hardly one to shy away from the eyes of the media and to honest here, you could say he’s a rather bad sort. So, why lately are there so many people popping up with stories about his alleged association with two recently deceased people? The evidence seems pretty circumstantial against Doherty, but somehow the finger of blame is always pointed firmly in his direction when ever anything bad happens. Known to many people in and around the London underground party scene, as ‘The Pied Piper’, Doherty is fast becoming a bad luck charm to people who hang around with him. The recent cases of Robyn Whitehead and Marc Blanco are the two examples I read about in the above mentioned article. Blanco, who bizarrely enough fell from a 1st floor window that was occupied at the time by Doherty and some of his cronies, was actually putting on a play entitled “The Accidental Death of an Anarchist”. How’s that for a twist of fate? Anyway, both of the above rather unfortunate souls died in mysterious circumstances with, it has to be said, rather tenuous links to Doherty if you ask me! But then again, as we have seen recently with the John Terry scandal = some people pursue the press for money and, it has to be said here, money. Doherty, I feel, doesn’t seek the media attention, but, because of his shenanigans, I just feel the media ‘seek him’! A marriage of convenience wouldn’t you say? Now, I know your thinking here about what could possibly be my point? Well it’s this: Peter Doherty is not a priest, he’s not a baby sitter, he’s not a premiership football player and he’s definitely without a shadow of a doubt no saint. In short, he’s no role model. What he is though is a bad arse rock star that lives his life very much on the darker side of life and if that’s how he wishes to live his life, so be it! I don’t think he’s after praise from his peers, he’s not after a knighthood and he’s certainly not after a presenter’s job on Blue Peter. He just wants to be left the fuck alone to get on with his own life no matter how debauched he may wishes it to get! As for Doherty’s interest in what made him famous in the first place: music. I feel he’s not really interested in that anymore and that his one true love, sadly, is drugs. Bit of a waste if you ask me as before he started taking the more serious drugs (Heroin, Crack, etc, etc) it has to be said: he was one of British Music’s shining lights that took on the ‘American Invasion’, sadly, as the lyrics in one of his goes: “The boy kicked out at the world, but the world kicked back” Best leave him to it if you ask me Mol