Get Ye Brits Out!

It’s Groundhog Day … Again . Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s that time of year again: Brit Award Nominations!! FU-KING-GREAT! There was once again another bout of silliness on behalf of the ‘judges’ for the Brit Awards when they awarded The Fat Dancer from Take That a Outstanding Achievement Award at the grand old age of … wait for it … 37!! Does this mean if he continues in music (to be successful or not) until he reaches the age of 74 he will receive a double Outstanding Achievement Award? (Let’s just hope he doesn’t make it to 111 eh?) Another thing that kind of took the jam out of my donut about this year’s nominations was the Brit’s category of ‘The Last 30 Years …’ How very self indulgent of them!! As for the 30 years of British Albums, the list baffles me so much! Most notably ‘No Angel’ by Di(L)do, ‘Diamond Life’ by Sade, ‘Rockferry’ by Duffy and ‘Brothers in Arms’ by Dire Straits. Don’t get me wrong here, but surely there has been better albums released by British Artists over the last 30 years than this shortlist wouldn’t you agree? Sounds like another example of bands that have actually won something at The Brits instead of them looking at the wider aspect so British Music! One thing I have noticed about this year’s nominations is there is no award for Best International Band. I don’t really see the point in having best international female artist, male artists, breakthrough artists, album, but not International Band? Are the Brits now ‘Anti-Band’? If so, why on earth did they go to so much trouble to ‘create’ an award for The Darkness five years ago and award Iron Maiden for best live band last year? Seems they’ve shot themselves firmly in the bollocks with that one Finally, the most talked about music issue on the planet at the moment: Susan Boyle – one in the eye for the ultimate Simon Cowell Protégée for no nomination at this year’s awards. Now, we all know she has sold more albums than any other person in the entire solar system over the last year, but I’m afraid it’s a case of tough shit in my opinion. Her lack of nominations might also have something to do with the fact that the songs she sings are not her own! If she’d focus more on writing her own songs instead of waxing her eyebrows she might walk home from the Brit Award 2011 with enough awards to pull down Simon Cowell’s kex!!! Finally, as regards SUBO (as she is rather ridiculously known as), I do have some helpful advice for her and her fans: when you make hey with the devil, expect a pitch fork in your arse at some point. Mol