The Rough With The Smooth

I was talking to some bird in work last week about Jamie T. Turns out she’s a pretty big fan of him, but I can take him or leave him to be honest. But, as we talked, she came out with a really good point: he has character. And you know what? … She was spot on! So it got me thinking: where have all the bad lads, or lads who have a bit of, well, laddishness about them gone? It’s actually quite apt that this conversation took place during the same month Noel & Liam put down their fist-e-cuffs and parted company as the two of them (love them or hate them) did have a certain aura about them that made them the modern day bad boys that were mainly loved by the people, but seen as a hate figure in the eyes of the (conservative) press. They will be missed (not for their music – in my opinion), but for the sheer cheek and camaraderie that oozed from them (when they we’re ‘talking’ to each other, of course) Today, the only time you get to see lads being, well, lads these days is by walking the streets as it’s basically the only place (not within eye shot of the Rozzers) people can get away with ‘offending’ anyone if you know what I mean? If you want to be a ‘rascal’ these days in the eyes of the media – forget it! Chances are you’ll end up in court for putting two fingers up to a photographer or telling someone to go fuck themselves due to the draconian laws that exist in this country these days with all things celebrity being poked and probed at the slightest opportunity. You only have to see undercover photos and film footage of Kate Moss, Russell Brand and Dev from Coronation Street for examples. Soon as the tabloids get hold of them – they’re well and truely fucked! But, without sounding sexist here, maybe the world has finally lost interest in the likes of Ozzy Osbourne biting the heads off small mammals, Oliver Reed seriously intoxicated on some chat show stripping off to Wild Thing and the late great and greatly missed Keith Floyd knocking back the red wine while setting fire to someone’s kitchen and have become accustomed to the likes of the squeaky-clean Take Splatt, Snow (snore) Patrol, James Morrison and the Jamie Callums of this world and their soothing vocals guaranteed to get women ‘in the mood’. Personally they bore the fucking pants off me so much that I really can’t listen or even watch them without reaching for the sick bucket and shedding my tea! Sadly, the age of ‘the bit of rough’ has well and truly come to a rather abrupt end because of the afore mentioned modern day crooners and good looking pin-ups corporate-pleasing Satan cock sucking pop stars. Another example of the serious lack of testosterone in today’s music scene was last month’s Mercury Awards: Bats for Lashes, Le Roux, Florence and the Machine and the eventual winner Speech Debelle, all pretty much front runners for the award itself and all women. The less said about the fucking X Factor the better (I’m sick to fucking death of that pile of vile shite any way so …) And, you might laugh here and it might sound daft, but I think shaving, moisturiser and after shave adverts have also got a lot to answer for as these do nothing to promote the ‘male’ side of men and more to promote the more ‘feminine’ side of men. Just look at lasts years Tesco advert with Take Splatt spending Christmas with them birds dressed in their skimps for stunning example of men being absolute mincers! So chaps, do us a favour next time you go into work, tuck your shirt half way into your kex, don’t wear a tie, don’t shave for two days and most important of all: don’t wash your shells!! Bear Grylls = eat your heart out Mol