Ben Pod-Cast

The great city of Madrid was the setting for a rather unfamiliar show of romance on my behalf and the knee was bent and the question was popped. Thankfully my missus did say yes (after saying “get up ye tit, ye making a show of me!”)

So, my dear readers, I know you’re thinking what the fuck has this got to do with music? Well, I’m coming to that

At my planned wedding in September I will have the rather splendid DJ (and all round complete bastard) Benjamin Edward Owens spinning some discs with plenty of Ray Von Style “Shabba’s” and not a single “New York, New York” in sight

So, in a shameless bout of advertisement/promotion for the afore mentioned ‘hit slayer’, he has done a pod cast for you to ‘sample his wares’. If anyone wants to have a listen, give him a shout. I’m sure most of you have his number and don’t be perturbed about him being as tight as two coats of gloss!

I’ll guarantee there will be plenty of sack rocking tunes for you to shake you bollocks to without a single Jive Bunny or Black Lace mega-mix version of “here comes the bride” in sight

And in a second bout of shameless advertising, I would like to inform anyone who is interested that I have joined up with the afore mentioned Spin Doctor in a new joint-venture to bring our music to the masses. Our debut DJ-ing set will take place in The Zanzibar on Seel Street in Liverpool on 26^th February 2011. Pop down if you wish.

You know what you have to do

Mol

Everything Counts in Large Cash Amounts

Now i'm not taliking about a certain Ex-Blonde Centre Forward who plays for LFC her, but it seems everyone really does have a price ... especially in music!

I was watching the telly the other night when a mate of mine text me and told me that one of the greatest Rock Front Men of all time – Steve Tyler from Aerosmith - was appearing in place of the great all-powerful Simon Cowell as a judge on ... wait for it ... American Idol! Hahaha, I nearly spat my fucking tea out!

Tyler, as we all know, recently ‘fell off the wagon’ and back into the dark clutches of hard drugs, drink and, of course, mainstream light entertainment television! I don’t know which is worse!!

Anyway, it got me wondering = everyone really does have a price as its plain to see that Tyler is obviously doing it for the money as there is obviously no kudos attached to appearing on some shit television programme ‘judging’ some pathetic spastic on their abilities to sing! Especially by a true Rock Legend

Now, if you add this rather absurd act by Tyler to the other rather absurd acts from Iggy Pop and his annoying latex alter ego puppet in the Swift cover adverts and Biffy Clyro’s allowance for one of their hit songs to be used by some biff from X Factor, its plain to see that financial gain has sadly replaced any form of musical licence or respect that artists used to wish for many many years ago. In all honesty, it makes me feel sick!

I remember reading a biography once about the late great Janis Joplin. In her own scatty way, she was something of a true, original great. She would regularly get lost drinking alone in bars, miss important appointments and gigs, and most precious of all – lose ALL her money somewhere. Now, when I say ALL of her money, I do mean thousands of dollars. But, it was shrugged off, replaced and simply forgotten about as in those days her music was the most important ‘factor’ not how many dollars she had in her bank account .

Can you imagine if someone like Coldplay, Girls Aloud or Take Splat lost thousands of pounds today? There would be a financial version of world war three! The stock markets would go into free fall and shares in the record company who represent the artists in question would fall so low the only way out would be bankruptcy (or thousands of job losses – starting at the bottom, of course)

So, have our ‘great’ artists of today taken more inspiration from out ‘great’ bankers and other spivs who feast on the anxieties of the poor and third world countries instead of the heroes of yester year that actually inspired their ability to take up/play music in the first place?

You bet your ass

As for Tyler, if he was ever offered the part in a film, the way he’s been action lately, I can see him playing an on screen version of Gordon Gekko instead of a washed-up old burnt out rocker

If the (begging) cap fits.............

Mol

The iPod Generation - An Idiot or Bored?

I often write about things and certain individuals who ‘ruin’ music, my beef this time is iPods and people’s use of them

I remember when I was a kid (and no, it wasn’t when telly was in black and white) and I bought myself a Sony Walkman to play my cassettes on (stop laughing!!). I was fucking made up as I’d walk to school listening to Guns N Roses or Maiden made up with my brand new music player the size of a house brick and earphone that looked like giants yellow versions of Ernie & Bert’s nose off Sesame Street! The dog’s bollocks – it really was. It was a pity though that I had a rather dreadful mullet to go with the headphones! The less said about my eighties hairstyles the better!

But, what was great about the Sony Walkman was that you could only ‘Fast Forward’ and not rewind. Another genius factor about it was that once the tape had finished it automatically switched to play the other side! Brilliant

Now, I’m not here to give you a walk down memory lane in a music nostalgia moment, but compare the rather beautifully simplistic world of the Sony Walkman to the rather annoying and complicated world of the iPod. There is a massive gulf! And, like the Guitar Hero and X Factor that I have previously Blogged about = its damaging music

Why? Well I’ll tell ye

Does anybody remember the last time they bought a CD? I do. It was a few weeks ago and I absolutely loved listening to every song on it! And I do mean EVERY song on the album

The problem with iPods is that people will skip the little ‘gems’ you find on albums at say track 8 or track 6 as people are too obsessed with what single was brought out from the album they just bought! Some people play the same single off the album over and over again time after time and simply forget about listening to any other song on the album. Apart from being extremely ignorant to the artist(s), in question, I also see it as a terrible waste of money on behalf of the consumer by just buying the album on the strength of the ‘famous’ single in question!

I feel the music buying public no longer have an opinion of their own anymore when it comes to what music they like. It’s a bit like going into a pub that (is lucky enough) has a jukebox and playing the most popular song by a certain band instead of putting something no one has ever heard of before!

And while we’re on the subject of opinions, I think Rich Hall summed it perfect a few nights back when I watched one of this marvellous programmes about country music. He mentioned the film ‘Walk the Line’ about Johnny cash and the people who said “it’s done a hell of a lot of good publicity for the music of Johnny Cash”. Hall went onto to say “if you’ve never bothered to go and search out the music of Johnny Cash YOURSELF, it’s not much good seeking it out after hearing about it in a Hollywood Blockbuster film is it” – I think he was right on the money with that reply I reckon

So, do me a favour next time you turn your iPod on? Turn off the ‘shuffle’ button and listen to a whole album in its entirety and listen out for the not so famous songs as I’m sure the artist(s) put just as much an effort into writing and recording it as much as the famous hit it sits along side

And, of course pending you pay for your music in a proper legal way, it’ll be a terrible waste of money if you don’t

Mol

Is The La’s The Best Album Ever?

Don’t you just love it when you re-discover a band?

I think I’ve come to a point in my life when I have finally realised there is actually a better album than Exile on Main Street – that album is The La’s one and only debut album

Maybe it is just a strong sense of local identity, fierce passion for true scouse music or Mavers’ ‘obsession’ on having Sixties dust inside his guitar amp? Who knows, I know that this gem is full of absolute classics, and worth blogging about

Son of a Gun – god knows who this song is about, but I get the feeling Mavers is writing a semi-autobiography here. “He was born to live like a mercenary” – it has been well documented that Mavers wrote EVERYTHING with regards to La’s songs. “Better run, rabbit run” – is this a message to anyone willing to challenge his song writing authority? You bet you are!

I can’t Sleep – is this a reference to drugs? God knows. What I do know is that this song has one of the most brilliant intros in music. Think “Start Me Up” by The Stones. Mavers’ voice in the background at the start of this song is simply stunning!! And that includes the “la la la la la la la la la la” in the background during the intro. He sounds like he’s just had twenty Lambert & Butler followed by a bottle of Bells! The only thing that gets me about this song is the fake “boom” from the drums that have obviously been over-dubbed (no doubt from the producer and possibly the constantly frustrated record executives, not the La’s)

Timeless Melody – “a melody always finds me” – is this Mavers’ way of saying he can write a song with his eyes shut? You bet your fucking life it is. Brilliant songwriter and a true great lyricist

Freedom Song – “I am the captain of the love you gave” – absolute no idea what Mavers is harping on about here. Power’s backing vocals are superb though on this track. Cast were always gonna be in fine company from here on in

There She Goes has quite possibly got one of the most recognisable intros in the history of music that is right up there with Whole Lotta Love, Satisfaction and Paranoid. The lyrics are very debatable with regards whether the song is about heroin or a young lady. “She calls my name, pulls my train” I personally think it has sexual content although many music ‘expert’ may well disagree

Doledrum is typical scouse humour about living a pretty shit post-Thatcher society ‘up north’ and brilliantly summed up in Mavers’ lyrics “oh no, don’t go down to Doledrum”. I personally think he’s issuing a message to all people who are willing to travel to Huyton. In other words – stay away! Utterly wonderful stuff!!

On Feelin’ Mavers sings “Woke up with a feelin’” – is Mavers talking about the possibility of having a good day or has he simply got an erection? Either way, this is a wonderful song with a massive Beatles influence and brilliant guitar work. Feel good factor of ten here i reckon

Way Out is another song with similar feelings to ‘Doledrum’ “a need a way outta this” “give it all ye got now” – desperate lyrics that yet again portrays a man who is either in a loveless relationship with a woman or needs a “way out” of that town he lives in that he doesn’t really like?

IOU = definite drug reference here. “On the street the knowledge, you must eat your porridge” – what is the porridge her? Is it drugs? It’s certainly not Quaker’s finest! “There’s no harm in greasing your neighbour’s palm” – yet another reference to local identity and also paying for your ‘gear’. One of the the best lines in the entire album

Every time I hear Failure I think of a mate of mine from years ago. He and his brother had just been nicked for stealing a few days before Christmas. On Christmas day they were both banished to the back room to eat their Christmas dinner (put the 2 potheads in the back room for sake of embarrassment). “So you open the door with that look on your face with, with your hands in your pockets with your family to face” – you just KNOW Mavers was busted by his parents when he was a kid don’t ye? Everyone – you can feel your childhood guilt can’t ye as I’m sure we all remember the first time we we’re collared smoking weed by ye ma’ can’t ye?

Looking Glass is without doubt one of the finest love songs ever written. I’m sure Mavers wouldn’t agree with this statement, but if you really listen to the song and its lyrics, it is utterly stunning “I’ve seen everybody, everybody’s seen me”. But Mavers goes off on a tangent with regards the 2^nd verse “oh tell me where I’m going, tear the pages open, turn the world around” – you could say he’s become a lost soul from the rather cock-sure worldly man from the start of the album. Almost an epitaph and a rather fitting ending to a great song and a great album

Sixties dust? Nah, more like late 80’s and early 90’s brilliance!!!!

Mol

Album & Song of the Year

What a very odd year

2010 seen The first coalition government since the first world war, rioting in the streets by students who missed out on Jeremy Kyle for the first time in years and of course the year I proposed to my missus (its a wonder what Rohipnol can do these days isn’t it?)

Anyways, I thought I’d give my opinion on what I see as album and single of the year for 2010. Here goes

Album of the year

My choice for album of the year has to go to the debut album by Them Crooked Vultures

TCV brought back to music the ‘Super Group’. Sadly missing from music since, er, Audioslave! Messer’s Grohl, Jones and Homme jumped onto the scene with the ferocity of a sex starved panther with a bottle of rush shoved up his snout. I believe songs such as “Elephants”, "Scumbag Blues" and "No One Loves Me & Neither Do” optimised the true essence of pure hard rock

In all honesty I don’t think the album has that many really stunning songs, but what really does stand out is the reason behind their decision to record this superb album. John Paul Jones is old enough to be Homme & Grohl’s dad, yet he has stamped his style all over this album and ‘took the reigns’ to show these two fine musicians a thing or two about song writing.

Guitar wise, Homme is simply stunning. He has not bothered changing his own style and started where he left off with (my personal favourite band) Queens of the Stone Age.

As for the drummer (Groh) there’s not really much you can say about a fella who has John Bonham’s Led Zep 4 Sign tattooed onto his arm. As they would say in The Lisbon’s Bog - WHAT a skin pounder

Not really heard anything about TCR following up this brilliant album, but I really do hope they do. Well done chaps

Single of the year

Without a shadow of doubt it has to go to a rather stunning new rock band called Foxy Shazam with their debut sing ‘Oh Lord’.

I usually leave the likes of reviewing music to my Balding Bison friend Neil in Manchester, but in this instance, I simply have to speak about them

Remember 2003 when The Darkness first came on the scene and everyone couldn’t make their minds up to decide if they were a joke band or serious? I get the same feeling with Foxy Shazam.

Tight trousers, hard rocking guitar, massive choruses and extremely high-pitched vocals are gladly in abundance on this song. Its one of them songs that gives you a tingle down your spine when you hear it, bit of a cliché, but so, in a likeable kind of way, is this song

In my opinion it has everything (including a brass section at the beginning that explodes into joyous rock splendour)

As for the chorus, I absolutely love the lyrics

“And there is always a wrong to your right/and there is always a war somewhere to fight” – brave lyrics from a band originating from North America. Political message? Maybe, but in the true spirit of rock music - Who fucking gives a shit!

So, there you have it. I know most of you have, but if you’ve not heard any of the above, give them a listen

All the best

Abby Titmus and a Happy New Rear

Mol

Keith’s Dead Flowers

I’ve just been reading a rather hilarious (and bizarre) article about Keith Richard, an orchid, and a library! Hard to believe, I know, but I just had to tell you all about it in a blog

Anyway, the other day Keith Richard was in New York promoting his autobiography (appropriately named ‘life’) and was speaking to students in a library

After his speech he was allowed to sit ‘back stage’ in the owner’s office while waiting for whatever rock stars do after speaking to the congregation of a library and, as most internationally famous rock stars do, lit up a ciggie in there to pass the time and the boredom of what can only sound like a rather dull setting to spend your time in

Now, Keith being Keith, decided to open a window (as he’s certainly may now know the law after several brushes with it in the past), in order to let his smoke out

But, that is where the good Keith finishes and the bad one come to the fray as what did he does with his ciggie stub? That’s right; he stubs it out in the water tray of a rather rare and delicate orchid that was resting on the owner’s desk... And there it lay in rest ... forever

The owner = not happy

Keith’s reaction = the usually gravelly voice followed by the odd “babe” and of course a healthy donation towards the running (and survival) of the library

Pity you couldn’t say the same thing about the plant.

Then again, maybe Keith is still holding a grudge against plant life after he fell out that tree a few years back!

Dead Flowers, anyone?

Let’s hope he doesn’t forget to put roses on its grave

Mol

The Golden God with the Touch of Class

Sorry it’s been a while chaps. I’ve been too busy emptying the contents of my stomach (and arse) at the sight of Take Splatt and Simon Cowell and his X Factor bastards shoved into my face twenty four seven! You just can’t escape it sometime can you?

Ayways, there’s a saying banded about quite a lot lately when it comes to people of a ‘certain age’ – “too old to cut the mustard, but I can still lick the jar”

Maybe it’s down to new antidiscrimination laws to do with ageism, but there’s also a saying that’s a bit better known – “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”

This is certainly not the case with Robert Plant

Now i know many of you avid readers will know that a few years ago i had a bit of a dig at good old Percy, i would like to take it all back

In case you didn’t know, Planty is enjoying resurgence in his long and glittering career with the rather aptly titled Band of Joy and before that with Alison Krauss and his award winning Raising Sand album

But, there’s one thing that has always been present in Bob’s career that has sadly been missing from many others of his age bracket and of course (without sounding like an arld bastard) today’s youth – class!

I get the feeling these days that fame is, well, cheap! Anyone can be famous. Just look at the talentless twats who grace X Factor and the likes of Big Brother (those two biffs Jedwood and that fucking mong who ‘had’ tourettes syndrome)! People who would sells their Nan’s teeth in exchange for fame and fortune in other words.

This is not the case with people like Planty

Apart from a rather brief excursion during the eighties when he banded about his ‘Big Log’ (oo er missus), I can’t really remember Planty doing anything cringe worthy enough to say “that was fucking shit”. That was his one ‘Tin Machine’ moment)

Even the Led Zeppelin reunion gig at the O2 a few years back was pretty much against his will as he knew ages ago that Zeppelin dies when his best mate Bonham died. But, he never once slagged it off. He got on with it and soldiered on in the name of (true) show business as a favour to Elmert OOOOOO (the fella who signed Zeppelin to Atlantic)

So, good on ye Planty, you’ll always be a true (talented) legend in mine, and many other people’s eyes

Keep up the good work (and the blonde locks)

Mol