I Kissed a Girl and I Lied About It

Was having a riveting conversation a few weeks back with the missus about pop music. I was havin a ‘Chas n Dave’ while the missus was listening to some jaaag music channel in the bedroom when ‘I kissed a girl’ by Katy Perry came on. As I started chuckling to this song as I like to do, my missus enquired about my sudden bout of joviality. I then went on to ask my wife the question “did Ms Perry really kiss (or fuck) another girl or did she simply prove the shock factor that usually accompanies debut singles these days? – hence, was she telling porkies?
 

But, there are a few interesting slants, not just to Ms Perry’s alleged bean-flicking rendezvous’ with her comfortable shoe wearing friends – there is a whole new sinister side to this genre of modern day pop music

 

Firstly, no one tells the truth anymore when it comes to ‘writing’ songs. FACT! Pop Singers have to rely on fantasy and make believe to sell their records (that they write themselves, of course) to sell their products to their fans and other assorted curious flunkies mingling within the general public!

 

And, the really sad part of this is the idiots who actually BUY these songs/albums actually believe them! Beleibers – anyone???

 

This, nicely, leads me onto the current state of the song writing industry in general and the effects it has on the general public (you know who they are – they’re the mindless biffs who you work with who read Heat & Hello magazine who prattle on about …. Well I’ll get to that) …

 

Let’s use Rihanna as an example here – whilst she’s not singing about diamonds (??) or staging publicity shots of her falling out of nightclub with her latest (comfortable shoe wearing) friend or ‘standing by’ her low life boyfriend who (allegedly) beats the fucking shit out of her – does anyone really believe that she has the slightest traces of being a real person underneath all of this bullshit? She is one seriously fucking detached fucked up bitch who, it has to be said here, is gonna go the same way a certain Ms Winehouse did a few years back. Anyone who has her in a death sweep is onto a winner in my opinion.

 

Personally I couldn’t give two shits if her ‘boyfriend’ beats the shit out of her as, to be really honest her, and i know it may sound a bit insensitive to say this, but does he??? One things for sure though – she has played the sympathy card like a true champ! She may have even taken some tips from Cheryl ‘ah love ye’ Cole which can only mean one thing – ch-ching! How long before the book deal(s) eh?

 

This Blog also coincides with the great loss to the world of music that JLS (Just Lousy Singers) have announced they have split up and will be dedicating the rest of their time to modelling them really bent white vests that students wear these days. Of course, there is a slight interlude that will consist of a few more singles, an album and a ‘farewell’ tour before they hang up their vests. Which basically means two things:

 

1. They are NOT splitting up

2. They are trying to play catch up to One Direction

 

Anyone who thinks any different than these two points is a sad, pathetic, brain-washed dickhead who should serious consider suicide (if you haven’t already). Then again, I hope JLS realy do split up as it will leave just One Direction to do the right thing and (hopefully) a really messy, blood-soaked suicide from Justin Beiber!!! Then – i will rest!

 

Finally, I know the saying ‘smoke and mirrors’ is banded about a lot these days in the world of Show Business, but in my opinion it is becoming more and more ridiculous as each days passes! ‘Celebrity’, fame and music are morphing into one great bit shining beacon of loveliness, perfection, and glitter that far too many people are taken in by!

 

Pop Stars are becoming more and more detached from reality and normal society that they are bordering on the same level as Premiership Footballers! (who also have a penchant for spinning few yarns)

 

So, to quote John Lennon – “just gimme some truth!”

 

I hear that, John

 

 

 

 

Mol

 

 

Storm in a Teacup - I Bet You Think This Album Cover is about You

I was trawling through Spotify the other day looking for a few tracks to add to my already bulging playlist and I came across the seminal and quite brilliant debut album from Super Group (yeah, I hate that term as well) – Blind Faith! In case you’ve never seen the cover it I can only be described as a picture of a naked pre-pubescent girl holding some sort of silver object that looks remarkably like a British Vulcan Bomber (yes, I know, it was really tempting to make some sort of Jimmy Saville joke there, but I didn’t …. Er ….)

 

Anyway, as I was adding tunes and looking at the rather surprising and in some cases slightly disturbing album cover – it got me thinking that no one has slightly bizarre album covers anymore as many musicians/groups are too obsessed with having pictures of themselves on their album covers instead!

 

Now I know the world of pop/rock music has always been full of self-centred, self-obsessed beautifully wonderful human beings and for years many albums have had the occasional album cover featuring said artist/band in some sort of wacky, embarrassing, catalogue-style pose set in some exotic location.

 

Sadly, they are pretty much the norm these days and they are really starting to grind on me!!

 

Bill boards featuring massive King Kong-size photos of say: Rhianna are bad enough, but having to endure the same image over and over again with on-line pop ups, the side of buses, shop windows and other media outlets takes self promotion and vanity to a whole new level!  

 

Now, don’t get me wrong here, I know most of the great bands from the past EG: Cream, The Stones, The Beatles, etc, etc have all been responsible for having photos of themselves on their album covers, but lets be honest  here – it was only a small handful and the photos taken were at least shot by a professional photographer.

 

These days, the likes of One Direction (down), Adele, Take Twat and other assorted, perfect looking flunkies seem to be far too obsessed with images of themselves.

 

Instead of having a nice, glitzy, glamorous photo of themselves, would they really sell as many albums if they had a picture of say someone’s house or a block of flats (see Led Zeppelin’s classic album cover for Physical Graffiti) on the cover of their latest release? Simple answer is no! The reason for this obviously lies in the hands of the artist’s all-powerful record label and more to the point – the marketing department! This also points to the controversial point that artists no longer have a say in not just what they record, but how it is packaged and designed!

 

Which brings me nicely to my final point which is somewhat of an obituary:

 

This week saw the sad news of the death of one of the most important people who was responsible for creating some of the most iconic album covers ever designed – Storm Thorgerson.

 

In case you didn’t know, Storm Thorgerson has created some of the most superb and stand out albums covers for bands such as Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath and Muse and most notably and successfully – Pink Floyd.

 

The most iconic, famous and intriguing designs Thorgerson created though has to be the front cover of Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon. It is still as stylish and as baffling today as it has always been, but its one redeeming feature and lasting trait would be this – it is original!

 

As well as having one of the coolest names ever, Thorgerson’s work had a level of perfectionism that has, in my opinion, never been repeated when it comes to album sleeve designing.

 

If you get a couple of minutes, have a look at the inner sleeve design for Pink Floyd’s Wish You Were Here album. The photography and attention to detail is outstandingly brilliant!

 

Now, compare Thorgerson’s works of art to the latest offerings from One Direction or Justin ‘I’m not Keith Moon’ Beiber for example and you will soon realise that the world of music doesn’t just have a problem with the music side of things … it also has an image problem as its nothing short of cheap and nasty!

 

Storm Thorgerson – RIP

 

 

 

Mol