Rockin’ all Over the World

I’ve just been reading an article about the Russian Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev and his love for British Rock Music such as Deep Purple, Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin.

And it got me thinking about that rather embarrassing and damn right scary prospect of this rather powerful head of state prancing around the Kremlin doing air guitar with one hand on ‘the button’ whilst listening to “War Pigs”. I don’t know about you, but even worse than Ozzy singing it, the thought of Medvedev singing it petrifies me!

So, with that rather disturbing thought stuck in your heads, I was thinking about other Heads of State and appropriate songs that they could be given in honour of the sterling work they do to keep the world turning in the right direction

First up you could assign Iran’s Beardy Mahmoud Ahmadinejad with his country’s (alleged) secret nuclear programme – Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Apart From Me and My Monkey by The Beatles

Libya’s Ned Murphy Look-a-like Colonel Gaddafi could have WAR by The Average White Band or We Gotta Get Out of This Place by Animals is also quite appropriate. Bang and Blame by REM is also pretty well suited to the strange Colonel

Seeing as Barack Obama is permanently in the spotlight as the most powerful man in the world (yawn), he understandably has a rather large selection of tracks given to him. Keep on Running – The Spencer Davis Group due to the ‘sitting duck’ status he currently possess, but best of all for our ‘friend’ across the pond would have to be Born in the USA by Springsteen. Controversially “?” following USA of course

North Korea’s Kim Jong Ill could have Go West by the Pet Shop Boys. Then again, maybe that is the deep craving of the population he rules over. Who knows? Then again, Rocking in the Free World by Neil Young is also quite appropriate for the short-crust despot

Good old Silvio Berlusconi from Italy could also have a multitude of sleazy songs given to the Brylcreem boy from Milan. Most perfect of all could be Girls Talk by Dave Edmunds. Then again, Fight for your Right to (have an under-age) Party by The Beastie Boys would be right up his street (if you pardon the expression). And, courtesy of Mr S Pugh from The Dogs – It Wasn’t Me by Shaggy for the over-tanned Italian Stallion

The pint-sized Nicholas Sarkozy of France with his rather glamorous model wife/girlfriend could have Never Tear us Apart by INXS. Then again, Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division could be the end game of his political career judging by the way the French are currently voting! (The French don’t like their politicians to be seen as celebrities – unlike the UK)

And finally we have ‘Our’ Dave Cameron and his cabinet of millionaires. Very tough one this I thought as what is really on my mind could well result in some sort of libel action against your truly, so I’ve decided the most perfect song would have to be The Long and Winding Road by The Beatles.

Then again, this is mainly directed and dedicated to the long suffering people of the UK as this is the path most of us (without money, wealth and privilege of course) will be on for at least the next four years of Tory rule.

Then again, Road to Nowhere by Talking Heads

Anyone?

Sing up Dave, “well we know where were goin‘ ..........

Mol

The Needle and the Damage Done

Just been reading the rather tragic story of Bass Player Mike Starr from ‘Nine Inch Nails’ who recently died of a heroin overdose, I’m sure most of you are thinking “who?”, and you’d be right to think that as he was hardly a household name! Still, never mind eh.

The article went onto to describe/explain the tragedy behind Grunge music and its affect on its ‘famous deaths’. To be brutally honest with you – I thought it was a crop of shit as no matter what genre of music – there will always be fatalities, but the only thing that differs is the way the person dies!

Hip Hop/Rap music has always long been associated with gun crime compared to the rather reckless self debauched hedonistic lifestyles of certain rock musicians. So, it’s pretty un-fair to singe out Grunge for being associated with a couple of ‘wrongn’s’

So, why does/did Grunge attract so much negative press, doom and gloom and damn right miserable bastards? The simple answer may well be the way the main ‘stars’ of the Grunge scene acted, but the main, more honest explanation may well be Heroin! It was the true dark cloud that followed Grunge around!

Heroin was pretty rife in young Grunge musicians of the late eighties and early nineties. It was born of frustration after Reagan introduced a new welfare to work reform in the USA (in short, if you had no job, you got NO financial help). Now if you add into the mix disaffected young men and women with nowhere to go and nothing to do except sit in your bed sit all day, the music that will follow will hardly be ‘Shiny Happy Fucking People’ will it?

With regards to Grunge in general, I personally I think the Grunge ‘style’ (ripped jeans, t-shirt worn underneath chequered shirt, greasy hair and loads of acne) was an image tool much like the Glam Rock Style of the early seventies and New Romantic style of the mid eighties. Obviously not the same but an instant association with that genre of music no doubt.

Now, I’m not applauding the use of heroin in any way here, but have you noticed that the one, sad thing missing from mainstream pop these days IS heroin! A good few high profile deaths instead of the odd underground musician popping his clogs would also be very welcome news (I think you can probably guess who I’m thinking of the police finding dead in a bathtub with a syringe hanging out of their cocks would definitely raise a smile from me!)

But to be honest here and ‘fight the corner’ of heroin, music over the years DID sound better when played under the influence of hard drugs such as scagg. Take Gram Parsons, Keith Richards, Janis Joplin, and Lou Reed for examples. They’re music was great when they were on the gear, but, sadly not so great when they were straight! Sad, but you really can’t compensate for true creative inspiration! If you don’t believe me, have a trawl through the afore mentioned back-catalogues and you’ll see what I mean!

(Also see title of Black Grape’s debut for sarcastic take on this subject by the way)

But, in all seriousness, music aside for one minute, you really can’t compensate for an early grave can you?

Live fast die young?

The legend should go: Live fast (Take smack, make sweet music), die young more like!

Mol

Street Fighting Man Takes on the Cuddly Fan

Has anyone ever noticed something about today’s music = There no confrontation! There’s no controversy! And, most important of all = there’s no swearing! Hahaha, nah didn’t mean the bit about swearing!

But I do believe that maybe the fact that society is so controlled and ‘safe’ these days is down to the fact that music is so nice, cuddly and, well, safe!

During the seventies and eighties there were bands around like The Sex Pistols, The Clash and (don’t laugh here) Frankie Goes to Hollywood!

Frankie Goes to Hollywood, for me, perfectly summed up the times in two of the best songs of the eighties.

Two Tribes, although the video was based on a mock-scrap between Ronald Reagan and Mickael Gorbachov, was no doubt quietly attributed to the Miners strike that (supposedly) threatened to bring the country to a halt. The lyrics sum it up brilliantly “ship it out-out! Working for the black gas”

Another great line from Two Tribes is the bit just before the end when Holly Johnson says (in what I can only assume to be a moment of impromptu controversy) “Are we living in a land where sex and horror are the new Gods”. This is yet another example of how FGTH gained the rightly reputation on how to shock the audience! You can almost imagine Mary Whitehouse and the rest of the Tory cabinet ministers choking on their Pimms can’t you?

As for Relax, this was obviously a controversial take on how to avoid (or indeed contract) the AIDS virus! Cutting edge stuff with not a single “I love you” or “I wanna be with you forever and ever and” in sight! “Relax! Don’t do it! When you wanna suck to it”. You could say they could have been offering advice for people to have oral sex instead of the more dangerous gay sex that was mainly associated with homosexuality at the time (a public advice message and a superb pop song all mixed into one I supposed you could say)

Now, I’m not gonna bang on about FGTH all day here, but I do firmly believe that popular culture these days has, sadly, become obsessed with fashion, celebrity, money and most of all: image! The days of Sid Vicious and other reputable rapscallions sneering into a camera and swearing on telly are sadly thrown into the rubbish bin of music history! And the chances of a top ten song about war or AIDS are pretty much zero! In other words = popular culture would simply find it far too offensive and not ‘sexy’ enough that does not define a product that could sell!

In short – no one has the balls to ‘stand up to the man’ anymore in case they come across as being nasty and horrible in the eyes of the all powerful press! A certain matter of incurring the wrath of the music executives who run the labels they work for is also a defining attribute in keeping their nice cuddly pop stars in check and on the never ending path to financial glory! (Which is what they all seek, no doubt)

So, is it any wonder that the public have kept a ‘lid on things’ during this current government’s current slash and burn policy towards the public sector? The comparisons with the 80’s and 70’s are almost mirror-like! Take the rise of capitalism and bankers under the tenure of Thatcher and, as I’ve mentioned, her brutal approach towards the miners! You could say Cameron and his cronies are doing the same thing today if you think about it.

Thankfully, for them, they have the likes of Take That, Will Young, JLS (Just Lousy Singers) and Snore Patrol to deal with compared to the likes of The Sex Pistols and The Clash that Thatcher was up against. Maybe that’s why people (and the miners) attacked the powers that be compared to our pathetic approach these days. They had the belief and attitude of these radical bands standing with them in their hour of need! No chance of that today!

So, do we need a ‘saviour’ of The Left in the style of a modern day Billy Bragg or Joe Strummer? I think we do as the truth is this about modern pop culture – it’s fucking boring as hell!!! And the small matter of true role models to inspire and support the disaffected youth of today is just as important!

Rocks and stones we’re thrown then, but now if someone gets angry, they’ll write a rather irate letter to the Daily Mail and brag about it in Twitter!

And on a final note, I would also be very interesting to know what people in Libya, Egypt and Tunisia have been listening to lately?

Somehow I don’t think Its JLS

Mol