Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Subo

John Lennon would be turning in his grave!

It was announced this week that Susan Boyle has chalked up number one albums in the UK and across the pond with our dear cousins in the U S and A. it!

A superb achievement I’m sure we all agree

Before we go any further, I’d just like to mention a rather funny quip my brother came out with yesterday: “imagine if Susan Boyle’s first name was Les” ... think about

Anyhow, what really do annoy me about this whole affair are two main deciding factors. 1. Susan Boyle does not write he own songs to be honest, she probably struggles to write her own fucking name). 2. The story and coverage about this whole thing in the press

Ridiculous words and phrases such as “better than The Beatles” and “breaking the record held by The Beatles” are really starting to fucking annoy me!

The Beatles were, and many say still are, probably the most influential band of all time that inspired thousands of artists not just in the sixties, but in the five decades that passed their heyday! They have also influenced a sub culture not just associated with pop music, but with film, literature and fashion.

They have also single-handedly boosted the fortunes and image of a city that was almost flung into the dark ages by a certain iron lady and her gang of millionaire cronies in the Tory party many decades ago

So, compare these achievements to a woman who resembles some rag-arsed Bricky who works on a building site and has done more for facial hair than Brian Blessed!

Here is a woman who swims with the likes of Simon Cowell and the other tax-dodging bean-counters whose real allegiance lies with a certain shit talent show that is plastered across our screens morning, noon and fucking night twenty four fucking seven!!!

To me, to compare anyone, whether that is Susan Boyle or any other talentless twat who doesn’t write their own music, to The Beatles is nothing short of utter blasphemy!!!

It really is a sad country we live in!! The quicker Subo (and her army of adoring fans in the press) fucks off into the arms of the celebrity loving Americans the better!

Mol

There Aint No Place Like The U S and A

Now, everyone knows my levels of distain and anger when it comes to all things American with regards the level of influence they sometimes have over our culture, sport and of course: food!

But I did notice one thing the other day when it comes to their ‘style’ of writing songs and it was this: they really are obsessed with their own country!

Now, I’m sure most of you know our cousins across the pond do possess a rather large chunk of land and that many of them (about 90-odd %) don’t own a passport (that’s usually down to that fact that they don’t know the rest of the world exists), but, this is what I noticed the other day: they love writing songs and naming bands about places in their country.

Self gratifying I’m sure you’d agree?

Here are a few rather eye-watering examples:

Bands:

Boston

LA Guns

New York Dolls

The Miami Sound Machine (that was Gloria Rest-her-fanny’s band by the way)

MC5 (Motor City 5) – named after Detroit

Buffalo Springfield

Chicago

Songs:

Route 66

If you’re going to San Francisco

New York New York

New York City Cops

California Girls

California Dreaming

Pacific Ocean Blue

Born in the USA

Sweet Home Alabama

Hotel California

Now I don’t mean to sound disrespectful to these rather cherished national places on the old U S and A here, but don’t you think they can sometimes be rather too sentimental about these places of heritage? Bruce Springsteen wrote about the USA all his fucking life and he’s still boring the tits off us to this day! Republican sentimentality you might say? Who knows

Now, compare this to the English and our rather plucky stiff upper lips, cups of tea and fish and chips. You don’t really hear of us singing so affectionately about such cities as Norwich, Sunderland or Watford. You don’t hear us constantly banging on about such world famous land marks as Battersea Power Station, The Angel of the North or Page Moss Chippy in the same way our friends across the Atlantic do now do you?

Now, you make think I’m being silly here (and yes, I am), but I’m pretty much at a loss as to why people would want to have such a partisan opinion about their own country that they suddenly feel the need to burst into song or name a band after it as, in my humble opinion, music should be about something that’s stirs your emotion and inspires you and your personal feelings

Maybe a bridge, a monument or indeed a city does do that for most Americans.

Sadly it doesn’t for me

I’ll stick to writing songs about paranoia, lost love and death if you don’t mind

As for Page Moss Chippy: they do make great onion gravy

Hardly worth a song though

Mol