Ah, the eighties. Seems its back … with a vengeance!
Just been watching one of them documentaries featuring all matter of jaaag celebrities talking about their exploits during the eighties. You know the type of programme featuring Bob Mills and Annie Lennox talking about their hey days gone by.
Anyway, If you manage to ask anyone about this decade of bizarre make up and new romantics I’ll guarantee they will roll their eyes in disgust (or embarrassment depending on how old they are). It usually gets a pretty bad reputation, and, in some musical instances, rightly so. What I mainly remember about the eighties (when I was growing up of course) was Tizwaz, Chackerjack and my Art teacher (Mr Nuttall) going off his head trying to control a gang of twenty-odd mad school kids calling him “Mr Nutter” and throwing markers and board dusters at him!
When ever people think of the eighties a lot will instantly think of the likes of Paul Young with his twenty five backing singers singing about where he left his fucking hat, Madonna singing about being a virgin (see opening scene of Reservoir Dogs for funny anecdote) and of course the outrageous fashion sense of the likes of Spandau Ballet, Duran Duran and Bros (hands up who still collect the Grolsch bottle tops – Heyzie). It’s examples like this that maintained that bad rep!
But, it wasn’t really all that bad to be honest
The eighties also gave us many fine artists that many people seem to forget about. The likes of The Smiths, Frankie Goes to Hollywood and The La’s all fell into the so called creditable bracket as I like to call it. These were the bands that stood up to the ‘old guard’ (Phil Collins, Paul Young, Dire Straits, etc, etc) and the ‘dreamt up’ bands that the labels created (and dressed) who appealed to the masses of pubescent teenage girls who were too busy having wet dreams over the posters on their walls of Curiosity Killed the Cat, Bros and Spandau Ballet instead of actually taking time to listen to the ‘music’ they were no doubt forced to sing (and release). And while were on the subject, can anyone tell me what the fuck Paul Young knows about the ‘love of the common people’? Always baffled me that!
The eighties, rather fortunately, also gave us the glam rock era. Many of you avid readers know I’m a bit of a metal fan and pretty much know how much I detested the glam scene of the early eighties both here and more notably in America. But you have to admit here, the sight of Dave Lee Roth & David Coverdale’s Poodle haircuts, Def Leppard’s one armed drummer and the rather striking and controversial Blackie Lawless from W.A.S.P. (White Anglo Saxon Protestants or We Are Sexual Perverts – it’s your call on what they were officially called) were quite superb comedy value. Love them or hate them, they did exist and if you turn over to VH1 at anytime during any day you are bound to see them and give out a chuckle. Joan Jet & The Blackhearts and Heart on the other hand, that gave birth to the phenomena that was The Power Balled! The less said about that the better eh?
So what of today’s crop of eighties throw backs? There does seem to be a hell of a lot of them around.
Here’s a few other examples:
Iglu & Hartley (topless torso with white kex – please), Le Roux (robot like female Kraftwerk rip off), Friendly Fires (seriously over elaborate and indulgent video makers with over-synthesized vocals),
The most dramatic of transformations of today’s bands has to be Mystery Jets though. Jesus! One minute they are Indie Popsters singing some decent … well … Indie tracks. The next minute they’re parading round with un-even style bowl head haircuts while looking like Crocket & Tubbs in a New Order video! Check out ‘In Love with a Girl’ and you’ll see (and hear) what I mean.
What does baffle me about this new wave of eighties impersonators is the praise they receive from their peers. Personally I don’t get it as I’m a bit of a stickler for original music and for bands who have a ‘re-inventing the wheel’ moment. Whether they are shit or good, it’s still original. To that, I take my hat off. Recycling, on the other hand, that should be left to the bin men who sort my rubbish out every fortnight
But, recycling is, if you really think about it, what they are doing. Money for old rope! Been there, done that, re-bought the (medium) t-shirt. And while were on the subject of T-shirts, how long will it be before we start seeing kids walking around with “Frankie says Relax” or “Choose Life” T-shirts? Not long I think
But, (and here’s my Jerry Springer moment) Music will always re-invent itself! Always has done, always will, there’s absolutely no doubt about that. And the kids who dress up like they’re about to film Club Tropicana two are not about to take over the world just yet.
So rest easy tonight, put your deck shoes on and put your feet up and watch Miami Vice on Dave and look forward to what really did fuck up the 80's = Tories!
Mol
Something’s in life really do render you breathless to the point you have just been fed a roasting hot Sayers sausage roll by some Huyton Ma’. As well as that, the saying “anything is possible” is probably the truest sentence ever used in music. Examples being – Simon Cowell wearing his kex below his tits, Susan Boyle buying hair removal cream and most recently (thinking my eyes were deceiving me) The Faces reforming ... WITH MICK FUCKING HUCKNALL AS LEAD SINGER!!!! 
